My son loves her so I would too

There are many stories about how mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law could not get along. I have seen the scene below in real life when I was 12 years old. Just a few steps away from our home, the two ladies quarreled all the time. They literally fought. I heard them using the most terrible words to swear at each other. I even saw them punch each other and in the end the one that got the punched the most was the man (the son/husband)! Poor guy!! What a life.

I had no experience being a daughter-in-law since both my mothers-in-law had passed away when I got married with both my husbands, nor do I know what it is like to be a mother-in-law since my son is not married. However, I know I will never want to be a monster-in-law. LOL!  I would wish to be a mother-in-law who will be missed when I am gone.

Mothers are by nature very protective of their children so we may often make the mistake of being too interfering and sometimes we are not even aware of it. That starts early in our kids lives and just never seems to go away in some folks.

Yes, I can be guilty of that too but fortunately, I have my Quay Lo to put me back on track. I would always want a good relationship with my son's girlfriend or his wife.  I guess the key to that is “Respect” for each other.

I have read an article long time ago about some tips on how to get along well with your daughter-in-law. Let me share with you those points that I could remember:

1)  If you have advice for your daughter-in-law , say it directly to her in a caring, and uncritical way. Be sure not to say it through your son. If you choose to speak up, mince your words before you open your mouth, if you can't do that, then just mind your own business and keep quiet. Never ever broach this subject as a reaction to something you have seen. Wait for a calm moment, with just you and her, and choose helpful words.

    

2) Do not drop in their home unannounced. Always check first and visit at a time that is convenient for them. 

    If they say they are not free to see you do not get upset. Be flexible, there is always another time.

3) Do not compete with your daughter-in-law to get “alone time” with your grand children. Let her decide what is the most convenient time you can be with them. She is their mother not you.

4) If you want to provide input on important decisions or issues affecting your grandchildren, discuss with both your son and your daughter-in-law about your concern and be proactive instead of complaining or nagging. However, be sure to listen to your daughter-in-law’s ideas first before offering your own. Then, you can express your own as opinions, never as demands.

Any mothers-in-law out there?  What do you think about the above tips? Do you say, "Ya, that will help." or "CRAP! I am the mother-in-law, she has to listen to me".

If there is daugther-in-law reading this post, what kind of mother-in-law do you wish to have?

You might be wondering why this crazy Quay Po suddenly talk about this subject right?  Well, actually what triggered the above thought was these wonderful tambun biscuits from Melaka. I was sitting in the kitchen alone this morning eating a piece and sipping my tea and the thoughts just came to me. Probably because the box of biscuits was given to me by my son’s girlfriend. She is a sweetheart.

For my Malaysian friends and readers, I highly recommend you to get a box of these biscuits if you happen to be in Melaka. They are by far the best tambun biscuits I have ever tasted. They are very flaky outside and the lotus paste filling was not so sweet like those with "tau sar" filling that I have tried before. I love it!

I am sorry, I don’t have a recipe to share today. I promise my next post will not be out of context and it will be all about food together with a recipe. Till my next post, enjoy your weekend. HUGS to all the in-laws! 

OUR 'MACA-RIGHTS" YAY!!!

We had a blogger friend, Pei Lin of Dodol Mochi come to spend the first day of Hari Raya with us this year.  If you have been my readers, you will know, I have tried to make French macarons some time ago but FAILED mercilessly!! Instead of getting macarons, I got a batch of ugly flat MACA-WRONGS! LOL!  I had to scrape them out from the parchment paper to eat them.  Oh yes, I ate them all by myself, over a few days because I find it very hard to throw away food. Honestly, the taste was good but no one would believe that looking at them.  So, to cut the long story short, I asked Pei Lin to teach me the right method. She came on Hari Raya eve and stayed the night at my house. Early next morning, after we both had our coffee, we started with our baking adventure. I am sure both Pei Lin and I will never forget how we, like little girls, squatting in front of the oven waiting anxiously for the macarons to grow legs, and then both screaming and laughing so hard when they did! LOL!  It was a fun and joyful ride for us. OMG!! I can't believe our macarons got their LEGS and tasted AWESOME!! YIPPEE!!

Pei Lin, being a perfectionist, was not extremely happy with the result because she thought they didn’t look as pretty as she would have wished. For me? Hahaha, I was estatic!! The fact that the macarons have legs and could be lifted off the parchment paper easily, had already sent me to the moon! Furthermore, they tasted perfect with the roasted chestnut filling. I truly cannot ask for more, can I? To tell you the truth, I am feeling VERY excited even now while writing this post. I can’t wait to do this on my own with a different flavor of fillings.

Just curious: Do you spend a lot of time “perfecting” your work, so everything comes out the way you want it to?  You know, in my opinion, being a perfectionist has its pros and cons . One of the pros is, we set high bars for ourselves and try our best to achieve it, which is good. On the flip side, one of the biggest negatives is that it can prevent us from having fun and being happy more easily. Let me hear your views. Do you kick yourself or are you quick to say "good enough":-)

A big THANK YOU to Pei Lin for all the goodies she brought us (German chocolate cake, American macarons and the moon cakes her aunt baked). Delicious!  MUAX!!!  Don't forget our next project is making pasta together. Does anyone want to join us?

This recipe was featured in Asian Food Channel Official Facebook Page

on 3rd November 2013

Vanilla Macarons shells
Make about 15 to 16, 1 1/2 inches diameter shells

Ingredients

83 grams icing sugar

64 grams ground almonds

53 grams egg whites (about 2 small eggs), aged for 48 hrs at room temperature

28 grams granulated sugar

coloring

½ tsp vanilla extract

Method to make the shells:

Sift almond flour and icing sugar into a mixing bowl and set aside. Please ensure the mixture is dry is entirely dry. After it is well mixed, add in coloring and blend in.

In a large clean, dry bowl whip egg whites on medium speed until foamy. Increase the speed to high and gradually add granulated sugar. Continue to whip to  ALMOST stiff peaks like in the photo.

With a flexible spatula, gently fold in almond and icing sugar mixture into egg whites until completely incorporated. The mixture should be shiny and 'flow like magma.' When small peaks dissolve to a flat surface, stop mixing.

Fit a piping bag with a 3/8-inch (1 cm) round tip. Pipe the batter onto the baking sheets and try to have equal size circles. If you want to have uniform size of shells, drawn circles before you pipe.  Tap the underside of the baking sheet to remove air bubbles. Let dry at room temperature for 1 or 2 hours to allow skins to form or when you gently touch the top of the batter, it does not stick to your finger.

Bake, in a 210°C oven for 2 minutes. Then reduce the temperature to 150°C and baked another 10 to 13 minutes.

Remove macarons from oven and transfer parchment to a cooling rack. When cool, slide a metal offset spatula or pairing knife underneath the macaron to remove from parchment.

Ingredients for  Roasted Chestnut rum fillings:

50 grams roasted chestnut , puree

½ tsp milk

50 grams butter at room temperature

rum to taste

Method to make the filling:

Puree the roasted chestnut, butter and milk till smooth. Add in rum according to your taste.
(I added no sugar and the balance was perfect. Even my sweet toothed "lo kung" thought so. Nevertheless, some of you may want to add sugar to taste in the above.)

Assembling the macarons:

Pair macarons of similar size, and pipe about 1/2 tsp of the filling onto one of the macarons. Sandwich macarons, and refrigerate for one day to allow flavors to blend together. Bring back to room temperature before serving.


Advice from Pei Lin
1) It is important to let the egg white out in room temperature to age for 48 hours
2) Make sure when you beat the egg white it is NEAR stiff peak and not STIFF peak. This take practice to know what is near stiff peak. One way to know is that the peak form is like a small hook.
3) Remember not to over fold or under fold the batter.
4) Remember to let the batter dry for 1 to 2 hours before sending them for baking. This will prevent the shell from breaking and also to get a higher legs.
5) Don't forget to reduce the temperature to 150°C from 210°C after 2 mins.
6) When doing the piping, stop in the center so that the macaron shells will be balance in shape.
She said different people follow a different method and it is best to try a few and use the one that suits you best. 

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY

FOR THOSE WHO "BALIK KAMPONG", HAVE A SAFE TRIP!

HUGS from QUAY PO AND FAMILY

A fund for Jennie

I am sure a lot of us know that our fellow blogger, Jennie recently lost her dear husband suddenly. Many have responded to pay tributes to her late husband Mikey by making his favorite Peanut butter creamy pie.  It is heartbreaking enough to lose the man she loves but it is even more heartbreaking to know that she might be in financial difficulty after finding out that she is not eligible for widow’s benefits because her income is too high to qualify.


Please read this post to find out more:
A fund for Jennie


I know what it is like because I have been through that myself.  If you have been following my blog you would have known the difficulties I faced when my first husband passed away suddenly. I do not wish another soul to have the same experience as Jennie and I.  Here is a link about that time if you are curious:

From strangers to good friends

I know one way I can be of help to Jennie is make a donation and to join the project organized by our fellow blogger Shauna Ahern to write a post to help raising funds for Jennie.

If you wish to make a donation to Jennie, please click on the "Bloggers without Borders" button:

I am sure Jennie and her two girls will be very grateful for your generosity and kindness.

This can happen to any of us and trust me, it is true of my last post’s title “Give and you shall receive”.   

Give and you shall receive

I told you in my last post that I had not decided what I would do on my birthday this year. When I got up after a good night’s sleep, I knew what I wanted to do! I told my Quay Lo that I wanted to spend my birthday with the old folks at Persatuan Rumah Caring Kajang Selangor.  

He immediately replied that he thought it would be a fantastic way to spend my birthday. So my mum and I went off for a nice breakfast, and headed to the nearby Careffour to buy the household items and food that they are always in need of at the home.

I sent a text message to a few of my close friends to ask them if they would like to make a donation and thus armed with donations from my sister in law Jennifer, my god daughter Cheryl, my best friends, Peng, Rina and Fernand, the gift money from my brother Vic and sister in law Jenny, my niece Christine and her boyfriend Sim, my step-daughter Erin, and my Quay Lo, I drove to Kajang where the old folk home is situated.  I also brought with me my birthday cake to share with them. It was so heart warming to see the smiles on their faces when they received us.

Me and the oldest aunty who is 95 years old, 
She is the cutest!

This lady is autistic, 41 years old. 
Her development ceased at a young teen age. 
She is one of the star singers at holiday times.

It was a wonderful birthday gift for me to see them enjoy my birthday cake. 

This old uncle has been living in this home for many years

Obviously this boy is not old. 
He is here because his parents need to work

and there is no one to take care of him so 
Wendy agreed to provide day care  for them. 

He is a handful as he is an autistic child 
and gets agitated very easily.

The aunty eating cake in this photo was  a factory worker in a paper factory.

She could not work after she hurt her back. When Wendy learnt 

of her plight, she took her in so that she has a place to live and 

food to eat. The rest of the uncles were there for many years.

We chatted during a long visit.  A few of them kept on telling my mum how lucky she is to have a daughter who cares for her and do things with. I told them that I am the lucky one.

I met one of the social workers, Xi Le who helps Wendy take care of the residents. Her story is so touching. She was homeless and a street urchin when Wendy found her. Under her guidance,  she is now a capable, caring social worker. If you want to know more about her, here is the article:

http://www.mysinchew.com/node/61368

Can I shamelessly ask for a belated birthday gift from you? Would you mention the home on your blog, or link to this post, and help us spread the word about the Caring Old Folks Home in Kajang, Malaysia so that more people are aware of it? Those who might wish to make a donation, here is the information you need.

The operation is not funded by any corporations  or government grants. It exist solely on the determination of Wendy who has devoted her life to caring for others and those individuals that support her efforts. Even a small donation to them makes a big difference.  Here is the link to get to know Wendy.

 http://findarticles.com/p/news-articles/new-straits-times/mi_8016/is_20090510/strength-family-support/ai_n44440591/

Her dream is to build a four-storey building on their own land to provide shelter for the needy, including old folk, orphans, single parents and the mentally challenged. And I have to add, this visit to the home was for me. Every time I visit, I reaffirm how fortunate I am, and I learn again how expressing your care for others pays you back ten fold.


I did not do any cooking on my birthday but when I arrived home after spending a day in the old folks home, I could smell the fragrance of spices in my home. My Quay Lo had cooked a dinner for us and not only that, I got some surprise gifts from him on top of the pasta machine he bought me a day before my birthday. He had taken me to Pantry Magic in Bangsar to let me shop for kitchen goodies. Oh I would like to thank Mel of Through the Kitchen Door for telling me about the shop. 

Check this new toy out, Yippe!

These are the surprise gifts from my Quay Lo - I LOVE them all!

My home cooked birthday dinner by my Quay Lo

Note: these photos were taken with a point and shoot camera under low light settings. It did not do justice to the actual dish. Although my Quay Lo thought he had slightly overcooked the sausage but I give it 8/10 on the taste and we both enjoyed the meal very much.

Here is My Quay Lo’s recipe for Sauerkraut and Sausage, if you are interested.


Ingredients:
1 jar 600 - 700g of pickled red or white cabbage (sauerkraut) reserve 1/2 cup juice from the jar
4 large sausages of your choice
2 slices smoked bacon (I used American bacon but pancetta would do very well)
1 medium apple cored and diced
1 medium carrot, diced
1 medium onion diced
1 small  - medium fennel bulb diced
1 rounded tspn carraway seed
1 level tspn coriander seed
pinch of sea salt
Olive oil
1 tspn brown sugar

Set oven for 180C (350F)
Use mortar and pestle or a spice grinder to blend the spices, and sea salt, then set aside.

In a frying pan add a tblspn of olive oil and sweat the diced apple, onion, carrot, and fennel. Just before the onion goes translucent add the reserve juice from the sauerkraut jar. Leave pan on the flame for another minute, or until the steam dissipates and the pan contents begin to simmer. Turn off the heat and add the blended spice mixture, stirring until well mixed.

Put contents of the frying pan in the bottom of a  covered casserole.

Wrap sausages in 1/2 slice of bacon each. Position on the sauerkraut mixture in the casserole. Drizzle with olive oil.

Cover and bake for 30 minutes. Remove lid and bake for an additional 15 minutes.

Serve with mashed potatos and brown gravy

Great with a Mosel Riesling or an Australian Riesling for the slightly higher acidic levels for a rich meal.

Why as easy as ABC and not XYZ?

When my mum served this bowl of soup to me, I asked her for the recipe and the method. I was dumb founded to see the short list of ingredients and how easy it was to cook this mouth watering delicious healthy soup. I noticed she did not use any oil.  I took two bowls with rice. I told mum I wanted to share this recipe with my readers and friends and she gave me the recipe and told me how she cooked it. I asked her twice if she had forgotten some ingredients and steps in the method. She got impatient and answered me, “Haiyah, hai kam lor, mun kam tor bai. hoe yoong yee geh, yoong yee ko Quay Lo ABC.” (Haiyah, this is it, ask so many times. very easy, more easy than Quay Lo ABC). OMG! even my mum who does not know English or speak the language knew how to say that! I could not help but laughed out loud!  So are you convinced now that this soup is simple to make? Oh... and does anyone ever wonder why it is "easy as ABC" and not XYZ?

Borlotti bean soup

Ingredients:

500 gm borlotti beans

2 medium carrots, peel skin and cut into chunks

200 gm pork ribs

800 ml chicken stock

salt to taste

Method:

Take out the beans from the straw. Wash them and put them (both beans and straw) into a soup pot. Blanch the pork ribs and drain away the water. Put the pork and chicken stock into the soup pot and bring to boil. Let it boil on high heat for 15 mins and lower heat to a simmer. Let it simmer for 1 hour or until the pork meat is tender. Serve hot after dishing out the straw.


Note: I added plain fragrant rice to the soup and this is another perfect healthy one dish meal. I think for those who are working, you can do this in the crock pot so that when you return from work, all you have to do is to cook some rice and you have a wonderful meal!

A SPECIAL POST for Mikey

I was not a blogger when my first husband, Mike suddenly passed away 22 years ago. If I was, I would probably have done something similar as Jennie did for Mikey. I would have written a post to remember him and made one of his favorite meals and invite all my blogger friends to join me to celebrate his life. 

I do not know Jennie of  "In Jennie's Kitchen", nor did I know her husband Mikey, but I do know what she is going through. The sudden loss of the man that you love most is devastating! The loving tribute she has written for her husband brought tears to my eyes. She wanted to make this pie for Mikey but did not get to do it before he passed. So she has requested her fellow bloggers to make this pie for his memory.  This is what she said. “For those asking what they can do to help my healing process, make a peanut butter pie this Friday and share it with someone you love. Then hug them like there's no tomorrow because today is the only guarantee we can count on.” I have made the pie using her recipe and I am going to share it with those I love and tell them that I love them, and remind myself that I don't say that enough and yes, I will follow Jennie’s advice, I will keep in mind that TODAY is the only guarantee we can count on! What a wonderful thing she has done to memorialize her husband's life. She has reminded us the importance of expressing our love to our loved ones. And she has shared her husband's love for a pie, and her love for him, all across the blogosphere. I hope you make the pie, or another favorite, for someone you love.

Peanut butter cream pie for Mikey

Please click on the photos to get Jennie's recipe

http://www.injennieskitchen.com/2011/08/for-mikey.html