你买我心,我买你心（You buy my heart, I buy yours)

My mum like to say “You buy my heart, I buy yours” (literally means you make me happy, I make you happy).  Before the Chinese celebrates Chinese New Year, they celebrate “Dongzhi” first which falls on the 22^nd of December every year. I remember my mum told me that “Dongzhi” is even more important than Chinese New Year itself. This is a festival celebrated by having a big feast at home together with family members, very much like the Thanksgiving celebration which my Quay Lo is used to. The only difference is that, they have turkey and we have “tang yuan”.  I don’t know why but we stopped celebrating “Dongzhi” since my first late husband, Mike passed away. I LOVE tang yuan and since we do not celebrate this festival anymore, my mum had not made this for a long long time and I don’t know how to make them.  I did not eat “tang yuan” at home now but when I crave for it, I can get them from the restaurant. I like those at the Chinese Restaurant at the Marriot hotel especially those with black sesame filling. I cannot believe this year, I had them at home on “Dongzhi”. No, we did not celebrate "Donzhi" still and my mum did not make it. My son, Nick’s girlfriend, Lehbin did. She made it at Nick’s home and drove all the way to mine to give me the “tang yuan”. Isn’t that sweet? They tasted far more better than those at the Marriot Hotel!! The sweetness of these “tang yuan” travels from my mouth to my heart! The texture of the “tang yuan” is silky and smooth and they are delicious!  Lehbin, the love you put into making this “tang yuan” makes it even more PERFECT!! Thanks my dear, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and thanks for sharing your recipe with me. Love you tons! 

If only we all try our best to adhere to this Chinese saying: “You buy my heart, I buy yours”, we will definitely be able to get along better and happier, don't you think?

Allow me to share Lehbin’s “tang yung” recipe with you. This is a good recipe because the texture remained silky and soft and still tasted as good the next day.

Black Sesame "Tang Yuan"
recipe from Lehbin (my son's girlfriend)

Ingredients:

4 oz. glutinous rice (sticky rice) flour

90 ml water

2 tbs lard

2 tbs black sesame seeds

4 tbs sugar

Ginger soup:

2 1/2 cups water

sugar (amount depends on your preference)

2 oz. old ginger (skin peeled and then lightly)

1 pandan leaves (tie them into a knot)

Method:

Lightly toast the black sesame seeds over medium fire until you smell the aroma of the black sesame seeds and ground it. Add ground black sesame into a pan with sugar and lard and stir until paste is formed. formed. Scoop them out into a bowl and let it cool in the fridge for half an hour.

In a big bowl, mix the glutinous rice flour with water until it forms a smooth paste and no longer sticks to your hands. Divide it equally into 8 to 10 small balls Flatten each ball and place a dollop of black sesame in the middle of the the dough. Fold the edge to seal the tong yuan. Roll the dough in both palms, very gently to shape it into a ball. Set aside.

Prepare the ginger soup by boiling the water. Add the ginger and pandan leaves and boil for 10-15 minutes on medium heat. Add sugar and boil for 5 more minutes. Lower heat to simmer and reduce to about 2 cups of water. The sweetness should be according to your preference so add more sugar if you like it sweeter.

Heat up another pot of boiling water. Drop the dumplings into the hot boiling water. As soon as they float to the top, transfer them out and into the ginger syrup. Turn off heat and serve the black sesame dumplings in a bowl immediately.

What a great story!

A friend from Singapore responded to my most recent blog update and I love the story she told me about how she hung up her wok a long time ago in favor of career. Recently however, she has started re-bonding with her family, and they are doing it through, what else...cooking.

Irene is a business friend of my hubby almost since the time he arrived in Malaysia in 1996.  She has been very generous with her time and assistance to both of us over the years. 

When I received her email, I was immediately impressed with the common road that we are travelling.  Both of us persued careers and both of us have come to this need for understanding over food cultures, and more importantly, placing more emphasis on the family ties in our lifes.

Read on about her personal journey:

"Hi Veron

Thanks for sharing your blog. Great to "see" you in person. Very

 pretty smile : )

 When I got married 25 years ago, for the first 3 years, I have to

 cook 5days a week for my husband as he does not like to eat out.  I

 look forward to Sundays as that is D day we visit his mum. Rain or

 shine, she cooks up a storm to welcome her brood*. She has 6 sons, 2

 daughters, 5 daughter in laws, 1 son in law, 14 grandchildren, 1

 grand-daughter in law & 2 great-grand children

 When we moved to a bigger place, my husband suggested to invite my

 mum in law to live with us.  

 So, for the next 22 years, I never stepped into the "wet" kitchen.

 I am also fortunate my maid who has been with me for the last 8 years

 learnt everything my mum in law taught her.  YES I know I should be

 the one learning !!!!!! but I kept putting it off... busy & lazy...

 ohhhh I will do it next week, maybe next month, perhaps next year....

 until it is too late.

 My mum in law is 85 this year.  2 years ago, she lost her taste &

 mobility.  She is also suffering from dementia now. My maid says she

 wants to go home and get married in 2 years time... Now I really

 panic.

 HA HA HA... long story short.... with regrets, I have nothing to

 share at this moment.  That being said, I am actively trying to

 document recipes from my maid. Sad to say, she also relies on

 "guess-timate"  and "agar-agar-ation"

 I think those who have talent can get it right somehow but I don't,

 so seriously, I need an idiot-proof cook-book for real dummies !!!!

With my maid, I have to "force" her to use the weighing scale and measuring cups. Show me - so that I can record bowl by bowl, cup by cup, spoon by spoon.  Don't tell me, a dash of this, a pinch of that and throw everything else into the pot recipe. No not me, I have no talent !

About 6 months ago, I started this bonding session with my side of the family. Me, my sister Jasmine, her maid Rona, my other sister Jessie, my eldest brother's wife Noi, my niece Min, my 3rd brother's wife SiewCheng, my 4th brother's wife Ann, even my Aunt (my mum's sister) & her daughter joined us.

One Saturday a month, I get my maid to teach us 2 recipes each time.

We sure had lots of fun and laughter.  I am so glad we started these bonding sessions.  I guess when we get "older", we treasure our family more...

Still alot of experimenting, trial and error as some recipes have gone wayward.  I know that "taste", something is not right but just cannot pin my finger on it. But I know, at least I am trying.....very hard.

Recently even our government stepped in to advise hawkers not to do short cuts during food preparation. Yes it will be cheaper (chemical processes instead of natural ingredients) and faster but we somehow have lost that "taste". More worse, with the hiring of foreign "talent", they don't know our traditional "taste" and with that, it could be lost forever."

I think there must be many of us in this part of the world who, as we industrialized and became career minded, (and as two-career families began to be the norm) set aside our domestic interest. I suspect that much too often this led to fast food meals, and "ta pau" (carry out) foods. I am glad we have a chance to get back to our roots before it all passes by. Gary and I still enjoy going out for an occasional "hawker" lunch or for upscale western dining. More often than not, however, we derive much more pleasure from the family gatherings and home cooked meals right here at home.
                                                                                                       -- Thank you so much Irene --