We too, we married a Barbarian

Would you be disappointed if I told you that Quay Po and Quay Lo are just an ordinary couple like many others out there, who have their trying times? Well I got an email from a reader.  She asked me if our love story is true and does that really exist in real life or is it just a fairy tale. She said it is too good to be true!  Although I do not owe anyone an explanation, I felt I need to clear her doubts. If she has this thought, I am sure that, there may be other readers of mine that might have them too. 

If you want an insight into what life is like to be married to a person of a different culture, you might want to read the book titled "I married a Barbarian." It is a heart-warming true story by a British man, and his wife, a proud Chinese lady. I can relate to their story because there were so many familiar situations and little aggravations that we faced, much like the marriage they write about.

Our marriage, like many others is not a always a bed of roses.  If marriage within the same culture needs lots of understanding and patience to stay intact, what do you think a mixed cultural marriage will entail?  Trust me, it is a challenge for Quay Lo and Quay Po to stay married for 15 years but that is true of any marriage. There are new challenges everyday and they are on going. It will not stop until one or the other of us expire. Only then, the one remaining can claim the victory for having a lasting marriage if there is a victory to claim. But it is the process, not the destination, that is our reward. So, why didn’t I blog about the challenges of our marriage and why only write about all the beautiful things? Think about this; if you were I, wouldn’t you do the same? Who would want to wash their dirty linen in public and if you are a reader, how long before you would stop coming here to hear my complaints? The truth is that we are more successful at achieving happiness if we never lose sight of the good things in our lives. Research has shown that the happiest people, are people who feel a sense of gratitude.  So I will let you decide whether this is a fairy tale or it is real.  Just remember, the pursuit of a happy life often revolves around the pursuit of ideals (such as gratitude). Our success is often tied to our own ideas about what those ideals are.  Also remember that love is a bond that, like steel, must be tempered. If challenges in our lives make us stronger, then we should draw comfort from knowing that. Our ideals of understanding, forgiveness, respect, and deep abiding love, must be strengthened by challenges if it is to be truly lasting. Quay Lo and I are still on that journey and our love still abides. We are both thankful.

Since I am on this topic, I might as well share with you an article I read in the early stage of our marriage. Obviously it was during one of our trying times when I was searching for answers that I found it.  I wished Quay Lo and I had read it before we got married.  Knowing these "rules" could definitely help a married couple avoid a lot of conflicts and would have enabled them to handle their cultural differences better. 

The author of this article is an American and his wife is Japanese. Unfortunately, I only saved the rules but  did not record the name of the author. If I had I would credit him, and furthermore, may have even tried to reach him and thank him.

Rule #1: Don't assume that your interest in your partner's culture will last, or that it will somehow prevent conflicts from occurring. 
Never underestimate the depth of the roots of your own upbringing. Sure, it's possible to change (given enough time and enough effort). But no matter how deep you dig, you will always be you. Your beliefs, your emotions, your priorities, in short, your whole approach to life, are shaped by the culture in which you were brought up. This leads to the obvious:

Rule #2: Don't assume that the other person will change significantly just because of the relationship or because of your charming influence.

Some degree of cross-polinization is bound to occur between two people who share an intimate relationship but when you start to expect change, then you start to get into big trouble. The best thing you can do for each other is to acknowledge the fact that conflicts will occur and will often occur for the simplest and most unexpected reasons.

That said, it should be quite obvious that you will want to find out as much as you possibly can about your potential partner and his or her lifestyle. You would be surprised how much is taken for granted in typical marriages, even among partners of the same background. What priority does the extended family play in the couple's life, how are family decisions made, how much free time (time apart from each other) is considered normal for the partners, etc.

Rule #3: Don't assume anything. Make sure you discuss with your partner every aspect of your future life together.
Also, don't assume that when your partner says something is unimportant that it does not have to be discussed. Those areas are often the most important things to discuss. The fact that something is 'not important' may be a signal that one or both of you are making an assumption about the way some aspect of life will turn out based on your own past experience. Well, you might as well toss that 'past experience' right out the window because your partner and you, by definition, do not share the same past or the same experience. And that brings me to the next rule:

Rule #4: If your partner refuses to discuss a subject openly, treat that as a big red flag and find out why.
The beliefs people hold most dear are the ones which they are least likely to want to discuss with someone else. Unless you're prepared to cheerfully accept whatever ideas or beliefs your partner may consider most important, I'd suggest you at least find out what those beliefs are before jumping into a permanent relationship with that person.

And I'm not talking only about religious beliefs (which may be important in their own right) but also beliefs about how life should be lived. Those things which you or your partner might call 'common sense'. Well, the term common sense covers a lot of ground and is often based on those underlying assumptions we have been trying to hard not to look at. The only things that are actually common are things like not standing in front of a speeding truck or not walking into an empty elevator shaft.

For example, if you are very involved in a group which supports a particular cause but your partner sees this as one of your 'hobbies' -- and if he or she has been brought up to believe that when two people marry they will give up the 'hobbies' of their younger days. And if you wait until after you are married to find out that all this is only 'common sense' then you may well find yourself in a difficult situation real fast. Or if you find out that it is considered 'common sense' that you should give up your dream of starting that business and instead work as a corporate grunt in order to provide security for the family because that's the way everyone else from your partner's country behaves -- my friend, you've found out way too late.

Rule #5:  Make it a point to talk about some tough topics (like money, raising children, where to live, etc.) before making those wedding arrangements.

Look, the stuff is going to come up sooner or later. Start an argument or two. Find out what it's like to fight by your partner's rules. No amount of love or respect is going to keep your ship from hitting the icebergs of life. You might as well know whether you will be able to work together toward a solution when the inevitable crisis comes up.

Rule #6: Make sure that between the two of you, there is at least one language in which you are both fluent.
This is very important. As a test, try taking some very subtle feeling or belief and explain it to your potential mate. Have him or her explain it back. If there is not a substantial understanding of what you explained, watch out. If either of you are unable to explain the subtle emotions that come up in a relationship without causing some misunderstanding, then you will be in for a very hard, if not impossible, road through life. Wait a while until one or the other of you is able to achieve a good degree of fluency in the other's language.

After all, would you hook up permanently with someone whose face you had never seen? Not many of us would. Then how come we will so readily hook up with a partner whose soul we have never seen?

Rule #7: Examine your own motives.
Is this someone you would hook up with even if you were safe and happy in your own country? If you are the partner who is trying to live in another culture, remember this: Culture shock can do funny things to a normally rational mind. Sure you're lonely, sure there are things about your surroundings that you just can't seem to figure out, sure your partner makes everything seem safe by filling you in on the subtle nuances of his or her culture. That's the formula for a perfect couple, right? Wrong. What you have is a parent or a teacher, not a lover. And it's all too easy to overlook the previous seven rules when it seems so obvious that this is the 'prefect' person for you.

If you see this happening to you, stop. Postpone any comittment. Get yourself comfortable with your surroundings. Disarm the 'conveninece' in the relationship and then see what you think. Learn more about the subtle parts of your partner's culture and then decide if you can tolerate, work with, and actually love that person because they are different and not despite those differences.

Rule #8: Lay the family finances out on the table and plan out your budget for at least your first couple of years together.

Why? Even in single-culture marriages, money seems to be the biggest problem in making decisions together. In my experience, money is even more important in an Asian family. There are enough differences in family finance between Western and Asian cultures that you should really want to know how your betrothed thinks in terms of family finance. And why not get a head start on the inevitable. After all, it's going to be both of you in this together so you might as well start now.

Of course, you can figure that if you make it past the first couple of years (the most intense part of the learning curve when it comes to finding out about all the differences in your ideas and background), you can pretty much go back to planning things by the seats of your respective pants.

Rule #9: Don't underestimate the importance of keeping good relations with your partner's parents.
This is especially true if your partner is the one from an Asian Countries (or some other non-Western culture). It seems that we in the US (and I can hardly speak for any other Western cultures) have developed a great deal of independence from our families. We hardly notice, and sometimes don't even care, what our parents think of our choice in partners. However, the same is not true with the Asian or other non-Western culture. There is still a great deal of synergy between parent and offspring, even well after they have left the nest and formed families of their own.

I have personally seen a well-functioning extended family of a mixed Asian/American couple. I must say, I was more than a little jealous of the warmth and support my friend's parents showed toward her American husband and I began to appreciate how important family contact and support can be when one has already, by virtue of entering an inter-racial relationship, struck out against the tide of social mediocrity.

And the worse thing that can happen is to have your partner's parents (or your own) constantly undermining the relationship, either consciously or not. If you can't get their active support then at least settle for passive acceptance. Anything less should be a sign of trouble ahead.

Rule #10: Be ready to help your partner through the inevitable rough spots.

Well, okay, this is sound advice for any couple. But just remember that you both will be setting out on an adventure -- a full-time first-hand learning experience in the other person's cultural labyrinth. None of us, I am convinced, ever really appreciates how many things we learn about life when we are young and that we take for granted every day. We consider many of these things just plain 'common sense' but they're only common if you and your partner have common backgrounds. Expect the unexpected. Then you won't be disappointed.

Rule #11: Forget about any rules.
If you have come this far and still intend to undertake this major life project, then may your experience be one of constant joy and wonder. And if you happen to be one of those for whom an inter-racial marriage has turned out well, I would certainly love to hear from you. Learning up-close about another person can be simultaneously the greatest adventure of your life and the greatest challenge."

I hope I have answered the question asked about our love story. Though imperfect, it is these imperfections that draw us together, more than tears us apart. In that regard we both feel blessed. 

Believe me, cooking a cross cultural dish is way more easy than facing challenges in a cross cultural marriage. Since this is New Year Day, I give myself a break and not cook or bake at all. May I share with you one dish that I did last year? I believe a lot of my new readers might have missed this one. A dish that pleases both the Western and Asian palette. 

Sui Kow (Dumplings) with 

QPC wasabi mayo red pepper sauce

Click on the photo to get the recipe

Lemon Curd

When I was cleaning up the refrigerator today, I saw half a dozen lemons there so I decided to make lemon curd and use it to practise my photography.  I killed two birds with a stone.  I have a jar of delicious lemon curd and at the same time get to know my camera better.

On the eve of Chinese New Year, my hubby made a peach tart and there were some balance of pie crust and I use them to make some mini lemon tarts and they taste really good.  On the second day of the Chinese New Year , my hubby discovered that lemon curd goes very well with the walnut cookies. I have to agree that it is really a great combination.

Makes about 2 cups

 Ingredients:

6 egg yolks

3/4 cup castor sugar

1/3 cup fresh lemon juice (about 1 ½ big lemons)

2 tbs grated lemon zest

1/2 cup cold unsalted butter (1 stick butter), cut into 10 slices

Method:

Add 1-inch of water to a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer over low heat. In a medium metal bowl whisk the egg yolks and sugar for about 2 minutes until smooth. Whisk in the lemon juice and zest until combined. 


Place the mixing bowl on top of saucepan (the bowl should be wide enough to fit on top of the saucepan, but shouldn't be touching the simmering water). Stir the mixture constantly with a rubber spatula, scraping the bottom and sides of the bowl as you stir, until it begins to thicken, and will coat the back of a spoon. This will take approximately 7 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat. 


Whisk in the butter, one slice at a time. Wait until each piece almost disappears before adding the next. Spoon into clean glass containers and allow to cool with a piece of plastic wrap laid on the surface to prevent a skin from forming.

Refrigerate until needed. This lemon curd will keep for 2 to 3 weeks.

My Blueberry Muffins look pathetic!

Somehow, I am not able to bake very well.  You look at the pictures and tell me how pathetic my blueberry muffins look.  My hubby said they taste good and I have to say they do.  They are very fluffy too but then, they just don’t look inviting:(  Please tell me where I go wrong.

I found this recipe on the web and the person who submitted the recipe is Coleen.  This is a good recipe, it is the baker here that did a lousy job.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup white sugar

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp baking powder

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 egg

1/3 cup milk

1 cup fresh blueberries

1/2 cup white sugar

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup butter, cubed

1 tsp ground cinnamon

½ tsp ground nutmeg

Method:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease muffin cups or line with muffin liners. Combine 1 1/2 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, salt and baking powder. Place vegetable oil into a 1 cup measuring cup; add the egg and enough milk to fill the cup. Mix this with flour mixture. Fold in blueberries. Fill muffin cups right to the top, and sprinkle with crumb topping mixture.

To Make Crumb Topping: Mix together 1/2 cup sugar, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup butter, and 1 tsp cinnamon and ½ tsp nutmeg.  Mix with fork, and sprinkle over muffins before baking.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until done.

Saffron Risotto

I got this risotto recipe from my hubby but I took the liberty to add ginkgo nuts, steamed asparagus and herb sausages to the risotto. I garnished it with chopped spring onions. I had mine with some “Chilli padi” and it was a very satifying one dish meal! 

Ingredients:

1/2 litre (I pint) chicken stock

40 g (1 oz) butter for the vegetables
2 tbs olive oil
1 medium onion finely diced
1 clove garlic minced
1 stalk celery, chopped
230 g (8 oz) risotto rice
8 oz dry white wine
110 g (4 oz)) Asiago cheese (you can sub with aged parmesan or Romano but Asiago will be consistently more creamy)
40g (1 oz) butter for the rice
1/2 tsp chopped saffron

Directions:
Begin heating the chicken stock in a pan. In a frying pan add 40 g of butter & olive oil and heat on medium flame. When the oil is hot add the diced onion, the garlic, and the celery and fry for two minutes. When the vegetables are soft, and before they begin to brown, add the rice and turn flame up to high. As the rice begins to cook, add the dry wine. Keep stirring until the wine is cooked through the rice.   Turn down heat to medium low. Add ladles of chicken stock, one at a time, allowing each addition to be absorbed while stirring and pressing the rice. The mixture should be taking on the creamy consistency of great risottos. Taste test to determine if cooked and continue working the rice in the pan until smooth and fully cooked. Turn off flame and add the cheese, butter and the saffron continuing to stir until all is incorporated into the rice. Remove from stove top and place lid on the pot.

Serves two generously

Note: an interesting version of this recipe omits 1 tbs of the olive oil and the saffron and adding 1 1/2 tbs of truffle oil

Recommendation: Serve with Chicken, Italian sausages, or veal cutlet and a bottle of chilled Pinot Gris (Grigio).

Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter Brownie

Posted by Quay Lo:

There are many recipes for a peanut butter brownie on the internet and I won’t claim that this one is the best. However, this recipe is a very quick and easy approach that yields a delicious result and it is one that we guessed at as we went along. We were challenged to come up with a worthy dessert recently, but were given very short notice. We had little time on our hands to prepare. This is the result of starting with a boxed brownie mix and ending with a far richer and more interesting dessert.

The box recipe called for adding 2 eggs, ¼ cup water, and ½ cup vegetable oil. Stir all, bake at 350°F (175°C) for 40 minutes, and joila!...a very quick pan of brownies. This would yield, according to the instructions on the box, the “fudgy” version of the branded mix. There was also a cake-like version that called for 3 eggs, instead of two. Here is our version:

You will need:

A medium mixing bowl, a food processor or blender, a small bowl, a mixing fork, a measuring tablespoon, a rubber spatula, and an 8 inch by 8 inch baking pan, slightly oiled. For the frosting you will need a whisk, and a “bain marie” or a 1 quart sauce pan, and a metal bowl that fits in the mouth of the sauce pan such that an inch of water in the pan does not touch the bowl.

Ingredients:

One box of your favorite brownie mix

¾ cup smooth peanut butter 1/2 cup chopped walnuts 1 egg 2-3 tablespoons of cooking oil 1 cup water

(for the topping see below)

Instructions for the brownies:

Set oven to 350°F (175°C)

Slightly oil an 8” by 8” baking pan and set aside. Place dry mix and walnuts in a medium mixing bowl.

Into a food processor add:

¾ cup smooth peanut butter

2-4 tablespoons cooking oil (or peanut oil if you have it)

Pulse until well mixed (using the third and fourth tablespoon of oil if needed) Remove contents to the mixing bowl that already holds the dry mix from the box.

In a small bowl, stir one egg with a fork and add to the mix.

From a cup of water, start by adding 3 tablespoons of the water to the mix and stir, adding spoonfuls of water as needed until the mix is well blended, (but not so liquid as to be pourable) Avoid using a whisk or an electric mixer. Instead use a mixing fork and avoid adding any air to the mix by a using a slower, more deliberate motion.

Using a spatula, transfer the contents of the mixing bowl to the oiled 8” by 8” baking pan, spreading evenly across the pan.

Bake at 350° F (175°C) for 35 minutes.

Remove from oven and allow to completely cool.

Ingredients and instructions for the frosting:

In a one quart sauce pan add 1 inch of water. Select a metal mixing bowl that fits on top of the sauce pan without touching the water below. At medium high heat, boil the water.

When the water is boiling place the metal bowl on top and add:

2 ounces (60 grams) of dark chocolate, broken into pieces

2 tablespoons of chili oil (this really punches up the frosting. Don't worry, it won't be a spice burn.)

1 tablespoon unsalted butter

1 tablespoon of thick cream

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 heaping tablespoons of icing (powdered) sugar

Whisk ingredients together until the chocolate is melted and the ingredients well blended.

Remove the metal bowl and whisk briskly for 30 more seconds, incorporating air. Cover and set aside until completely cooled.

Notes: This should yield a shiny, thin frosting that spreads easily and should cover the baked brownie mix with a frosting that is approximately 1/4 inch (.75 cm) thick. If you want more adjust accordingly. Pictured is a 1/2 recipe version as we prefer less frosting.

We plated this with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream and a maraschino cherry, and used some of the cherry syrup to splash around for color.

Cornbread, Sage Stuffing by Quay Lo and Quay Po

This dish was product of a joint effort from Quay Lo and Quay Po.

At its heart, this is southern (U.S.) style cornbread stuffing. Yet it starts with a classic mirepoix and just gets better from there, depending on your flair and your taste on the day you make it. It may be too late for this Christmas, how about keeping it for the next?

You will need a frying pan, a two quart covered casserole or a large loaf pan, a large mixing bowl and a baking pan for cornbread.

Cornbread:

Ingredients:

(A)

1 C corn meal

1 C plain flour

¼ C sugar

1 tbs baking powder

1 tsp salt

(B)

1/3 C vegetable oil

1 egg

1 C milk

Method:

Preheat oven to 200C or 400F. Grease 8 inches square pan. Combine (A).  Add (B). Pour blend into prepared pan.  Bake for 20 – 25 mins.

Stuffing:

Ingredients:

1 ½ cups (approx 340 grams) onions finely diced

¾ cups (170 grams) celery finely diced

¾ cups (170 grams) carrots finely diced

3 tablespoons (42 grams) butter

½ cup fresh sage, finely chopped

½ cup fresh parsley, finely chopped

3 tablespoons (50 grams) freshly chopped thyme

3 cups (450 grams) cornbread, broken into pieces

8 slices white sandwich bread, toasted to lightly brown, in an oven and allowed to dry. Break into crumbs (don’t just allow bread to air dry. Toasting is added caramelization for your recipe.)

¾ cup chopped chestnuts

1 cup (approx 130 grams) dried cranberries

1 large egg slightly beaten

1 cup chicken stock

Method:

After the cornbread and bread crumbs are made it is time to prepare the mirepoix. So called the “holy trinity” of French cooking, it is nothing more than a mix of the carrots, celery, and onion, sweated in the frying pan on medium-low heat, with the butter. Avoid browning the butter or the vegetables. By now, your kitchen will have all those wonderful smells of the mirepoix and you will understand why so many great French dishes start out this way.

In a large bowl add bread crumbs and corn bread crumbs, and toss together.

Add the parsley, sage, and thyme as well as the chestnuts and cranberries, tossing all until well distributed.

Add the mirepoix mixture with all of the butter and toss again.

Salt and pepper to taste

Add the egg until well distributed.

Just a bit at a time, add the chicken stock, just until the mixture can easily be shaped with a spoon into a ball.

Slightly oil the casserole and gently spoon and press the stuffing mixture into the dish.

Bake covered for 35 minutes

Note: I like to use loaf pans and double the recipe. I freeze the second loaf taking care to seal tightly with plastic wrap, and again with a layer of aluminum foil. May be kept in your freezer for up to six months and is wonderful to have on hand to accompany roasted chicken, pork chops, or ham.

I laughed out loud. Read and I promise you will too.

I want to go "off topic" with something that still makes me laugh when I read it and I thought you might enjoy it too. My Quay lo travels extensively due to his business and the note below is what he wrote in an email to his daughter, who had shared an article on airport security with us one morning. The article was about the growing inconvenience and hassle of security checks when we travel, and highlighted the emerging use of revealing xray equipment. Stitch is specifically responding to his daughter's statement that she just grins and bears it because it is far better than no security.

My Quay Lo wrote:

*** You know, that is exactly how I survive the ordeal. I just keep telling myself that it is one of the signs of the time. If I rant, I rant to myself. Other then that, I just “bend over”, and occasionally say things like, “enjoy yourself?” or “could I get a copy of the picture?” to make it more lighthearted. I once had a female air security person, who had visions that she was Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry. She seemed intent on stripping me piece by piece. First it was remove the shoes. Then it was take out the wallet. Then it was remove the jacket. Then it was remove the belt…at which point I said “Hey, are we playing strip poker??!! Bcuz, I don’t have any cards”. The guy behind me laughed out loud but “Dirty Harriett” kept in character and only scowled. So I shut up and consoled myself that at least I gave one guy a laugh.

One of my regrets is that travel has become so tedious and wearying. Seats are smaller as my ass grows bigger. Leg room is shorter as my knees get stiffer. Meals are rarely a notch above animal feed. Toilets are barely large enough for me to stand up straight in. Passengers are ruder than ever before. Every time I schedule another flight I tend to want to say to myself “crap…another airport, another crappy airline, another hotel that will find 1,000 ways to irritate me”, and I remember how it used be a that each trip I took was preceded with a sense of excitement and adventure. Sometimes with these thoughts, I fall into one of those internalized curmudgeon rants about the “good old days” and "ain't it awful". Usually I jatr myself out of this reverie, realizing that isn’t really true, so I try to catch myself. The fact is that every face I see represents a new opportunity to learn something, and a new opportunity to make a friend. Not long ago I sat next to an Arabic businessman and we had one of the most congenial conversations two people could have. I have had, in my life, a thousand experiences like that. I once was behind a pregnant woman who fell backwards while climbing the stairs to the plane entry. (some problem with the gateway had forced the airline to bus us to the plane and enter this way). I caught her and managed to get her back on her feet. She was so gracious in her thanks that I felt good. But as I reached the plane’s hatch, the flight attendant said “great catch, sir”. The crew then went on during the flight to give me very attentive service. It made my day.

There are still great things out there to experience. And great places to discover. You can’t have these experiences sitting at home, I know that. So I think contemplating a trip becomes a question of overcoming inertia.”

Congrats, my dear, for overcoming yours, though that has always been a skill for you. You are one of those bubbly people that just see pleasure and adventure in everything. That makes me very proud and I hope it will always be that way for you.

Love, Dad ***

When my Quay Lo returns from his travel, he is always glad that he is home. Even a simple sandwich, his usual request after a long return flight and it is late in the day, will make him very happy.

Ham Sandwich

Ingredients:

3-4 slices of shaved ham

2 pcs whole meal bread

3 slices of plum tomato

1 pc of Romanian lettuce

1 tbs mayonnaise, 
1/2 tbs Dijon mustard,
and a dash of black pepper

some corn chips

Method:

Assemble all the above, Simple enough?

Pork & Duck Terrine with cranberries & hazel nuts - featured in Group Recipies (12/25/10)

If you are a regular reader, you already know that my hubby loves to cook and most of the western cuisine recipes are from him. He has been the main cook for our Christmas dinners the past several years but due to his back problem this year, he has to leave the cooking to me. However, he just could not stay away from the kitchen. While I was out doing some last minute Christmas shopping, he sneaked into the kitchen and cooked. When I returned home, I could smell the fragrance of food even before I opened our main door. Know what? He made this wonderful dish and he told me he thinks it is worth it even if his back hurts because of all the standing during the cooking. This is truly a dish filled with passion and I am sure this will 'WOW' our guests when served.

Pork and Duck Terrine with Liver

Before baking

Putting a heavy brick on top of the terrine to slough off some of the fat and make the terrine more dense

After baking

After it is removed from the loaf pan

Ingredients:

2 deboned duck breasts , about 300g/10oz each, skin on

200 g (approx 8 ounces) sliced bacon (can use pancetta)

700 g (approx 1 ½ pounds) pork shoulder, cubed

120 ml (1/2 cup) milk

3 shallot , roughly chopped

5 slices of day old bread

2-3 whole cloves

200 g pork, duck or chicken livers, roughly chopped

6 black peppercorns

2 teaspoons coriander seed

2 cloves of garlic

Generous pinch of ground cinnamon

1/2 cup Cognac

2 eggs, lightly beaten

75 g shelled nuts (chestnuts, pecans, walnuts, pistachios)

75 g (1/2 cup) dried cranberries

Method:

1. Heat oven to 160C/fan 140C/gas 3. Put the duck breasts and skin in a shallow dish, then place in the hot oven for 20 minutes. Discard the shriveled bit of skin that remains, then pour the duck fat into a bowl to cool. Roughly chop the cooked duck meat and place in a large mixing bowl.

2. Roughly chop the pork, three slices of bacon, and liver to a coarse texture and mix with the chopped duck in the bowl.

3. Tear up the bread and soak in the milk for 5 minutes. 
Squeeze the milk out of the bread and put in a food processor with the shallots and garlic. Pulse the processor to get a coarse texture, then add to the bowl.

4. Grind the peppercorns, coriander seeds and cloves to a coarse powder (pestle and mortar works just fine). Stir in the cinnamon. Add the spices to the meat along with 4 tbsp reserved duck fat, the Cognac, the eggs, and 2 tsp salt. Mix together very thoroughly – the best way is to use your hands.

5. Lightly grease a 1-litre loaf pan. Line the pan with the bacon (or pancetta), slightly overlapping the slices and leaving enough overhanging the edges to cover the top.

6. Press half the mixture into the pan leaving a slight indentation down the middle. Scatter the pistachios and cranberries over all, then cover with the remaining meat mixture. Fold over the bacon strip and augment with more so as to cover the entire loaf. Cover the dish tightly with foil, then place all into a roasting tin. Pour boiling water into the tin to come halfway up the sides of the dish.

7. Bake for 2 hrs, remove foil, then bake for 15 minutes more to brown the top. When completely cooled, remove from pan and wrap in fresh foil and chill. For the best flavor, let the terrine chill in the fridge for at least 2 days before eating. The flavors will mature and blend.