Love hurts

I have a several lady friends who are young enough to be my daughters. When they faced problems in their relationships with their partners, they have often come to me and poured their hearts out . Perhaps, they felt safe to confide in me because they knew I would not judge them. Very often, I have urged them to read this beautiful poem about love by Kahlil Gibran and try to begin to understand what love is all about. It is one of several poems my Quay Lo has introduced me to. From my first reading of it I felt that if we can gain an understanding of this passage: "love crowns you... so shall he crucify you", perhaps we will not be so surprised when love brings pain. We may even be able to blunt that pain with wisdom, understanding, and when neccessary, forgiveness. I hope you might see what I mean when you read the following.

On Love

(From "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran)

When love beckons to you, follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams

as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips

Today is Valentine’s day, a day which we have always celebrated every year. It is a very SPECIAL day for Quay Lo and I. We declared our love for each other on this day 16 years ago.

To celebrate our love, I started the day by giving my Quay Lo a Valentine’s gift at 1.45 a.m. in the morning. I bought him a new music player for use with the ipod and iphone. Yesterday I was busy loading his complete music library into the ipod. Just before bed time, I turned on the player so that when he walked into the bed room last night he would notice it immediately. He has always loved to have some music on at bedtime and takes great care to prepare elaborate playlists for relaxation. However, a few weeks ago his favorite ear phones quit working. 

When it came time to retire for bed he hung back saying he wanted to do a final email check and see the stock prices before retiring. I went ahead upstairs and waited. Almost 30 minutes later I had to go back downstairs to urge him to come to bed. As I had guessed, he was absorbed in his work, but a gentle nudge was all he needed to switch off the lamp and the computer.  When we got upstairs it was a BIG SURPRISE for him!  He was so pleased and he loved the player. He kept saying it was SO COOL! and WOW!! What a nice feeling for me to hear him say that and see his obvious delight. To my Quay Lo music is the salve that soothes a man's soul. (Well, maybe that and a good meal.)

Today I knew my Quay Lo would not want a heavy lunch because he has plans to take me to a nice romantic dinner at our favorite French restaurant in the city this evening. So, I made a simple brunch for him - home made grilled pork burger, with egg and cheese on ciabatta sandwiches. What do you think?

Heart shape sandwich

Ingredients:

2 pcs ciabatta bread (cut into different size heart shape)

4 pcs of cheddar cheese (cut into different size heart shapes)

lettuce

2 eggs for frying (stir with a fork and fry flat, over medium)

cherry tomatoes

mayonnaise

salt and pepper to taste

pork burger

For the pork burger:

10 ounces hand chopped pork shoulder
2 tbsp duck fat
1 tbspn finely chopped spring onion
1 tbspn finely chopped fresh coriander
2 tbspns finely chopped fennel bulb
1/4 tspn chili powder
1/4 tspn ground carraway seeds
ground black pepper and salt to taste
1 raw egg, stirred with a fork

Mix ingredients in a bowl by hand until all are well distributed throughout, cover bowl with cling wrap, and place in the fridge for thirty minutes.

Remove from fridge and make patties to the desired size.

Heat duck fat in skillet over medium flame and fry until the meat is slightly pink inside. Turn down heat to low and place slices of cheese on each pattie. When cheese just starts to melt remove patties to a plate topped with paper towels to drain. Cover with aluminum foil. Prepare grilled ciabbata bread and assemble sandwiches. Serve with stone ground corn chips, cole slaw, sweet gherkins, and an ice cold beer (tip: place beer glasses in the freezer for 5 minutes before pouring the beer.)
Serves two 

Though quite simple  to make this is one of my guy's  favorites. He literally moans with pleasure as he bites into the sandwich, LOL.

Hope you too will be having a wonderful and memorable Valentine's Day and remember -

"Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love"

I'm submitting for Valentine Hearts: Heart-shaped dishes for Valentine's Day!

你买我心,我买你心（You buy my heart, I buy yours)

My mum like to say “You buy my heart, I buy yours” (literally means you make me happy, I make you happy).  Before the Chinese celebrates Chinese New Year, they celebrate “Dongzhi” first which falls on the 22^nd of December every year. I remember my mum told me that “Dongzhi” is even more important than Chinese New Year itself. This is a festival celebrated by having a big feast at home together with family members, very much like the Thanksgiving celebration which my Quay Lo is used to. The only difference is that, they have turkey and we have “tang yuan”.  I don’t know why but we stopped celebrating “Dongzhi” since my first late husband, Mike passed away. I LOVE tang yuan and since we do not celebrate this festival anymore, my mum had not made this for a long long time and I don’t know how to make them.  I did not eat “tang yuan” at home now but when I crave for it, I can get them from the restaurant. I like those at the Chinese Restaurant at the Marriot hotel especially those with black sesame filling. I cannot believe this year, I had them at home on “Dongzhi”. No, we did not celebrate "Donzhi" still and my mum did not make it. My son, Nick’s girlfriend, Lehbin did. She made it at Nick’s home and drove all the way to mine to give me the “tang yuan”. Isn’t that sweet? They tasted far more better than those at the Marriot Hotel!! The sweetness of these “tang yuan” travels from my mouth to my heart! The texture of the “tang yuan” is silky and smooth and they are delicious!  Lehbin, the love you put into making this “tang yuan” makes it even more PERFECT!! Thanks my dear, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and thanks for sharing your recipe with me. Love you tons! 

If only we all try our best to adhere to this Chinese saying: “You buy my heart, I buy yours”, we will definitely be able to get along better and happier, don't you think?

Allow me to share Lehbin’s “tang yung” recipe with you. This is a good recipe because the texture remained silky and soft and still tasted as good the next day.

Black Sesame "Tang Yuan"
recipe from Lehbin (my son's girlfriend)

Ingredients:

4 oz. glutinous rice (sticky rice) flour

90 ml water

2 tbs lard

2 tbs black sesame seeds

4 tbs sugar

Ginger soup:

2 1/2 cups water

sugar (amount depends on your preference)

2 oz. old ginger (skin peeled and then lightly)

1 pandan leaves (tie them into a knot)

Method:

Lightly toast the black sesame seeds over medium fire until you smell the aroma of the black sesame seeds and ground it. Add ground black sesame into a pan with sugar and lard and stir until paste is formed. formed. Scoop them out into a bowl and let it cool in the fridge for half an hour.

In a big bowl, mix the glutinous rice flour with water until it forms a smooth paste and no longer sticks to your hands. Divide it equally into 8 to 10 small balls Flatten each ball and place a dollop of black sesame in the middle of the the dough. Fold the edge to seal the tong yuan. Roll the dough in both palms, very gently to shape it into a ball. Set aside.

Prepare the ginger soup by boiling the water. Add the ginger and pandan leaves and boil for 10-15 minutes on medium heat. Add sugar and boil for 5 more minutes. Lower heat to simmer and reduce to about 2 cups of water. The sweetness should be according to your preference so add more sugar if you like it sweeter.

Heat up another pot of boiling water. Drop the dumplings into the hot boiling water. As soon as they float to the top, transfer them out and into the ginger syrup. Turn off heat and serve the black sesame dumplings in a bowl immediately.

Are you a romantic or a cynic? We are both!

When I arrived at the hotel and walked into the our room a day before Valentine's day, I saw this little arrangement on the dressing table. 

The flowers were lovely and I love the little butterfly clip. I really appreciate that my hubby took the time to make this little arrangement for me. He did not buy me expensive fancy chocolates but he bought me my favorite Kit-Kat!  That was a surprise!  He surprises me a lot and sometimes I wonder when is he going to run out of ideas. Frankly, I am not as creative as he is so I have long ago ran out of ideas to surprise him. Now my surprise to him is, there is no more surprises! I think I can get away with it because I am a "Chinese Kampong Girl"! LOL!

When I was at the mall on Valentine's afternoon, it was crowded with long ques of people at chocolate, cake stores, and florists. Everybody were rushing to get their love one a Valentine's gift.  Obviously, commercial interests has contributed greatly to the publicity that surrounds Valentine's day. No one can argue that they are all designed to rake in the profits.  To me, commercializing any holidays can often replace the true history and tradition of it but on the other hand, because of that, the holiday stays alive and not forgotten.  I think we should not be obsessed with tangible things and forget what the holiday really stands for. It is a big mistake to think that a gift or a dinner for your love ones on this day is going to make up for the fact that you don't show care for the rest of the year. Love is a precious experience and should be celebrated everyday in our own way not just once a year.

That evening, while everyone flocked to fancy restaurants for a candle light dinner to celebrate Valentine's day, we had a quiet dinner at a Kopitiam in the hotel we stayed in. We ordered three of our favorite dishes and two glasses of champagne. The deep fried tahu with bean sprouts and onions in a thin rojak sauce was delicious.  The beef rendang goes well with white rice.  There is nothing to shout about for the oysters sauce kai lan but a meal did not seem complete without vegetables. We enjoyed our meal and the attention from the waiters.  The service was better than usual because there were only a few of us there. To us, this is so much better than going to a crowded fancy restaurant, pay a big bill for a set menu of little choice and get annoyed by lousy service. We celebrated love in our own way.