My son loves her so I would too

There are many stories about how mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law could not get along. I have seen the scene below in real life when I was 12 years old. Just a few steps away from our home, the two ladies quarreled all the time. They literally fought. I heard them using the most terrible words to swear at each other. I even saw them punch each other and in the end the one that got the punched the most was the man (the son/husband)! Poor guy!! What a life.

I had no experience being a daughter-in-law since both my mothers-in-law had passed away when I got married with both my husbands, nor do I know what it is like to be a mother-in-law since my son is not married. However, I know I will never want to be a monster-in-law. LOL!  I would wish to be a mother-in-law who will be missed when I am gone.

Mothers are by nature very protective of their children so we may often make the mistake of being too interfering and sometimes we are not even aware of it. That starts early in our kids lives and just never seems to go away in some folks.

Yes, I can be guilty of that too but fortunately, I have my Quay Lo to put me back on track. I would always want a good relationship with my son's girlfriend or his wife.  I guess the key to that is “Respect” for each other.

I have read an article long time ago about some tips on how to get along well with your daughter-in-law. Let me share with you those points that I could remember:

1)  If you have advice for your daughter-in-law , say it directly to her in a caring, and uncritical way. Be sure not to say it through your son. If you choose to speak up, mince your words before you open your mouth, if you can't do that, then just mind your own business and keep quiet. Never ever broach this subject as a reaction to something you have seen. Wait for a calm moment, with just you and her, and choose helpful words.

    

2) Do not drop in their home unannounced. Always check first and visit at a time that is convenient for them. 

    If they say they are not free to see you do not get upset. Be flexible, there is always another time.

3) Do not compete with your daughter-in-law to get “alone time” with your grand children. Let her decide what is the most convenient time you can be with them. She is their mother not you.

4) If you want to provide input on important decisions or issues affecting your grandchildren, discuss with both your son and your daughter-in-law about your concern and be proactive instead of complaining or nagging. However, be sure to listen to your daughter-in-law’s ideas first before offering your own. Then, you can express your own as opinions, never as demands.

Any mothers-in-law out there?  What do you think about the above tips? Do you say, "Ya, that will help." or "CRAP! I am the mother-in-law, she has to listen to me".

If there is daugther-in-law reading this post, what kind of mother-in-law do you wish to have?

You might be wondering why this crazy Quay Po suddenly talk about this subject right?  Well, actually what triggered the above thought was these wonderful tambun biscuits from Melaka. I was sitting in the kitchen alone this morning eating a piece and sipping my tea and the thoughts just came to me. Probably because the box of biscuits was given to me by my son’s girlfriend. She is a sweetheart.

For my Malaysian friends and readers, I highly recommend you to get a box of these biscuits if you happen to be in Melaka. They are by far the best tambun biscuits I have ever tasted. They are very flaky outside and the lotus paste filling was not so sweet like those with "tau sar" filling that I have tried before. I love it!

I am sorry, I don’t have a recipe to share today. I promise my next post will not be out of context and it will be all about food together with a recipe. Till my next post, enjoy your weekend. HUGS to all the in-laws! 

I got to have it so I made it myself!

Stir fry chickpeas with dried chilli and curry leaves is one of my favorite snacks. I used to buy this from a hawker in SS15 Subang Jaya who also sells vadais plus many other delicious snacks. When I went there yesterday, she was not opened. I was so disappointed and when I returned home, I decided to make my own. Since I wanted to eat it immediately, I used the canned chickpeas instead of those that I need to soak overnight. This is very simple to make and it is truly a delicious snack. Try eating them with a glass of wine or beer and it is divine! I can just eat the whole serving of chickpeas all by myself. Oh yes, it is THAT delicious!

Here is the lady and her family that I used to buy the chickpeas from. It is very heart warming to see the whole family helping out in the business and they all seemed to be very happy working together. I love seeing happy family! It is worth making a trip to this hawker because almost everything she sells are delicious. I will die for the vadai and the deep fried onions. I like that she makes it so spicy. It is crispy outside and soft inside where the lentils are well cooked not like some where the lentils are not properly cooked and so hard that will almost break my old teeth. Her prices are very reasonable too. 

This is what I buy always!!

Stir fry chickpeas

Ingredients:

1 can chick peas

1 medium white onion, sliced

5 dried chillis,

1 cup curry leaves

1 tbs mustard seeds

1 tsp curry powder

1 tsp olive oil

salt to taste

Method:

Drain the chick peas and set aside. Soak dried chillies in warm water for 20 mins. Drain and cut into smaller pieces.  Wash curry leaves and set aside. Heat wok with olive oil and add onion and dried chillis. Fry till onion is translucent and dried chillis are dark in color. Add mustard seeds and fry till fragrant. Put in the chick peas and curry leaves and stir fry till you can smell the fragrance of the curry leaves. Add curry powder and salt to taste.  Mix well and serve.

Note: It is very tasty even eaten cold. Actually, you do not really need to follow my measurement, you can use your own to suit your taste.  I think this make a pretty appetizer when you have friends over for dinner, don't you think?

Stir fry cabbage in chilly with peanut snacks (far sang thong) - Featured in Group Recipes

Hey, if you have some peanut brittles at home,  try this very unique dish.  It may sound strange to use a sweet snack in a vegetable recipe but trust me, it taste good!  

Stir fry cabbage in chilly with peanut brittles (far sang thong)

Ingredients 

250gm cabbage thinly sliced

1 tb chilly paste

½ cube chicken stock

1 tb vegetable oil

70gm peanut brittles (preferably those with sesame) - crushed

1 ts chopped garlic

½ cup water

Method 

Heat oil and add garlic and fry till fragrant.  Add cabbage and mix well.  Add water and chilly paste and turn heart to medium and let it simmer till cabbage is translucent and soft.  Put in serving dish and sprinkle crushed peanut brittles.