My son loves her so I would too

There are many stories about how mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law could not get along. I have seen the scene below in real life when I was 12 years old. Just a few steps away from our home, the two ladies quarreled all the time. They literally fought. I heard them using the most terrible words to swear at each other. I even saw them punch each other and in the end the one that got the punched the most was the man (the son/husband)! Poor guy!! What a life.

I had no experience being a daughter-in-law since both my mothers-in-law had passed away when I got married with both my husbands, nor do I know what it is like to be a mother-in-law since my son is not married. However, I know I will never want to be a monster-in-law. LOL!  I would wish to be a mother-in-law who will be missed when I am gone.

Mothers are by nature very protective of their children so we may often make the mistake of being too interfering and sometimes we are not even aware of it. That starts early in our kids lives and just never seems to go away in some folks.

Yes, I can be guilty of that too but fortunately, I have my Quay Lo to put me back on track. I would always want a good relationship with my son's girlfriend or his wife.  I guess the key to that is “Respect” for each other.

I have read an article long time ago about some tips on how to get along well with your daughter-in-law. Let me share with you those points that I could remember:

1)  If you have advice for your daughter-in-law , say it directly to her in a caring, and uncritical way. Be sure not to say it through your son. If you choose to speak up, mince your words before you open your mouth, if you can't do that, then just mind your own business and keep quiet. Never ever broach this subject as a reaction to something you have seen. Wait for a calm moment, with just you and her, and choose helpful words.

    

2) Do not drop in their home unannounced. Always check first and visit at a time that is convenient for them. 

    If they say they are not free to see you do not get upset. Be flexible, there is always another time.

3) Do not compete with your daughter-in-law to get “alone time” with your grand children. Let her decide what is the most convenient time you can be with them. She is their mother not you.

4) If you want to provide input on important decisions or issues affecting your grandchildren, discuss with both your son and your daughter-in-law about your concern and be proactive instead of complaining or nagging. However, be sure to listen to your daughter-in-law’s ideas first before offering your own. Then, you can express your own as opinions, never as demands.

Any mothers-in-law out there?  What do you think about the above tips? Do you say, "Ya, that will help." or "CRAP! I am the mother-in-law, she has to listen to me".

If there is daugther-in-law reading this post, what kind of mother-in-law do you wish to have?

You might be wondering why this crazy Quay Po suddenly talk about this subject right?  Well, actually what triggered the above thought was these wonderful tambun biscuits from Melaka. I was sitting in the kitchen alone this morning eating a piece and sipping my tea and the thoughts just came to me. Probably because the box of biscuits was given to me by my son’s girlfriend. She is a sweetheart.

For my Malaysian friends and readers, I highly recommend you to get a box of these biscuits if you happen to be in Melaka. They are by far the best tambun biscuits I have ever tasted. They are very flaky outside and the lotus paste filling was not so sweet like those with "tau sar" filling that I have tried before. I love it!

I am sorry, I don’t have a recipe to share today. I promise my next post will not be out of context and it will be all about food together with a recipe. Till my next post, enjoy your weekend. HUGS to all the in-laws! 

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