Monday, November 19, 2012

If you have nothing nice to say, better say nothing at all


Some people are experts at running their mouths, and often times they have learned to wait for just the right moment to hurt another person's feelings. How many of you agree with the saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? I believe in it but sometimes I forget my belief.  From time to time I speak too hastily and forget to put a check on what I am about to say. That is a silly thing to do. It doesn't take long to figure out whether what you are about to say is a mean or too critical a remark.  If your check is accurate and you realize you should either not say anything, or find a better way to say it, then you can accomplish much more and feel more peaceful in your life. I think  not saying anything is a bit like letting go. By letting go of your irritation and avoiding hurting someone's feelings you are going to award yourself with an instant chance for more inner peace. 

Has anyone of you received hateful remarks or comments on your blog before? What do you do when that happens? For me, I usually will just delete it and not even bother to think about it after that. I simply refuse to let their comments affect me. So far, I have had only one really nasty comment after two years of blogging. I deleted it, in sort of the same way that one might toss out the contents of a dustbin in my macbook. It feels good to see the contents disappeared before your eyes. Immediately afterwards, I simply forgot about it.  

During a demo event at the baking competition the other day, I overheard one lady in the crowd of watchers that had gathered make a nasty remark about the chef. 

Unfortunately the product did not turn out well. I almost wanted to ask the lady why she had said that but then, I bit my tongue and stopped myself from doing that. There is nothing nice I wanted to say to her so I should shut up. LOL!
Honestly, the truth is that when we say something hateful or mean spirited we usually end up regretting it. Nowadays, I try hard to catch myself before it happens.

Now, did I sound like I was preaching too much? Okay time to stop preaching and start sharing. Lets stuff some cabbage.

Stuffed Cabbage

I adapted the recipe from Chef Laura Calder of French Food at Home2 but with modification. I used chopped meat loaf and pomodoro sauce for the fillings. It was a perfect use of leftovers. Click on the picture to go to the link to get the chef’s recipe in case you want to try making his filling.

It was rather challenging for me, and mine did not come out as visually appealing as the Chef’s. In fact it looks messy but it  was delicious. I think I should put in more fillings in between the leaves when I make it again. 

44 comments:

  1. Next time you prepare stuffed cabbage to stuff the mouths..ehhehehhe

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  2. Yeah ... just stuff it! ... and this turned out real good too! :)

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    1. yes, stuff it but don't get stuffed. LOL!

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  3. That reminds me of the song... You say it best, when you say nothing at all... :)

    I've not tried making stuffed cabbage before but it sounds interesting. Worth experimenting...

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    1. Reminds me of another song, Silience is Golden.

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  4. Stuffed cabbage? Reminds me of Mr Jinx in the "Bringing up father" cartoon strip - cabbage stuffed with corned beef.

    Ah well!!! The old folks always said that we cannot plaster people's mouths...but it is true that some people simply cannot keep their big mouths shut and more often than not, they would be making an exhibition of their ignorance - showing how little they know.

    If I don't know anything, I would just keep quiet and not tell the whole world how stupid I am. Abe Lincoln said, "It is better to keep quiet and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!" I couldn't agree more - much truth in this, I would say.

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    1. You are wise Arthur. I definitely will opt to keep quiet to let people think that I am a fool rather than confirm it. LOL!

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  5. Quay Po, your stuffed cabbage looks delicious! I like the generous filling poking out between the leaves. Sort of teasing me :) Agree with Yee Ling and Ping, if only we have cabbage at the right moment and stuff it into the offensive person's mouth! Hah, I remember the cartoon Arthur mentioned. Yes, the maid Rotunda would make the cabbage stuffed with corned beef :)It was one of my favourite childhood cartoon strips.

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    1. haha, maybe after being stuffed, the offensive person will think twice before opening her mouth.

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  6. I completely agree and I always try to remind myself (sometimes others too) that it's better to say nothing if you can't say something nice :)

    We usually make just stuffed cabbage leaves and it's one of the most delicious things.. :)

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    1. Yes, it is always better to think first before we speak.

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  7. This looks yummy...I love cabbage and this is one great way to stuff the cabbage :) Have KIV this...I think I will use corned beef for this...can?

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  8. There is a Chinese saying, the body can die but the mouth doesnt. People are sometimes so careless with their words; passing snide and hurtful remarks to show they are superior and know better than others. They dont realise the effects of their words on others......esp on the young and vulnerable. Sometimes they kill the confidence of the victims and that is why there are so many depression cases around. If everyone guard try to guard their words, the world will be a better place.
    Btw, your cabbage reminds me of the cartoon, Bringing up father. Look delicious.

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  9. well I would accept it as an improvement..
    Different people has difference opinion/thinking..
    we should see at a wider angle...
    critism means another new opportunity to improve..

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    1. People can always give their opinion but it depends how the opinion was delivered. There are also two types of criticism, constructive and destructive. Constructive criticism usually meant well but not destructive.

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  10. Quay Po, you are a wise lady with big wisdom which stopped you from confronting the lady in the crowd. Things may get ugly if you approached her. I did come across with 1 occasion that I made a simple mistake in writing something that I wanted to expressed in chinese in my Fcebook & I didn't aware that I wrote the wrong words. Didn't have time to check it until the next day, I saw so many comments being left in my comment& most of them were written by my friend who also lives in Sydney & some from my brother in Malaysia. The comments given by the 2 men were full of fire & I didn't even know what happened? It was a small thing but somehow had gone away too far which spoiled my original intention for the comment that I left. 2 men's age added up is more than 100 years old & it disturbed my friend's feeling too, ai, I had to act like a school teacher & explain to each of them separately & at last, I had to delete my comment. What for? Someone just can't get it even though I have hinted for a couple of times. Now, when I leave comment in my Facebook, I have to double check on my spelling, "sei mei?"

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    1. Jessie, when I confront someone, I am usually not afraid of things getting ugly. I kept my mouth shut that day is because I felt it is not worth wasting my time on ignorant people like that. I am sorry the mistake you made on FB cause you so much trouble. On the brighter side, it makes you more wiser and be more careful.

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  11. That looks good. Rustic is a style of cooking :) I love stuffed cabbage. Should get a head of cabbage and make them after Thanksgiving. Have a great celebration with your family :)

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    1. Reese, we did not get to celebrate Thanksgiving on the actual day because no water so we are going to celebrate tomorrow. I believe you had a great one.

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  12. I do agree with the quote that if u do not have anything good to say abt someone than it is better left unsaid. Another line comes to mind "think before you speak" lol. The stuffed cabbage look tempting.

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    1. That's right. think before you speak will save one from lots of problem.

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  13. Hmmm...interesting read here:D The stuffed cabbage looks interesting, a very western kind of dish huh, don't think I have eaten cabbage this way before.

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    1. Yes, this is a Western dish. I only eat cabbage this way after I married my Quay Lo. If you ask me, I still prefer eating cabbage the Chinese way. LOL!

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  14. You don't sound preachy and at all and your words are quite wise. I was on the recieving end of some nasty words, and I know the speaker regrets the words spoken. It has taken me a year to get over it, but I have. I can usually bite my tongue, because I hate confrontation! The stuffed cabbage looks quite yummy!

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    1. Thanks Darlene. I am glad you finally got over being hurt. We really must not let someone who is thoughtless in what they said affect us.

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  15. We have a saying down here that goes like this "Please engage brain before speaking" sadly people don't do it. Like you i have only had one nasty comment so far and i just deleted it and moved on.

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    1. My mum used that saying very often. I think it is the best thing to do is not allow any footprint of nasty remarks on our blog and forget about it.

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  16. True. I'll just eat this dish instead of saying anything.

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  17. Well said! Fortunately I have not had any bad comments in this blog but I had A LOT when I was blogging in another platform (wasn't a food blog and mostly people make persona attacks...not nice at all). Mostly I don't argue back but it was still very hurtful of course. Sometimes people just like to attack others (backstabbing etc) for no reason to make themselves feel better. Nowadays I'm a little older and perhaps a little wiser, if people say anything about me I just assume that they really are very interested in my life and perhaps a little jealous :P

    Enough rambling.... your stuffed cabbage looks nice la, not messy at all.

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    1. Kelly, I am not surprise you will get personal attacks. Know why? You are young, intelligent, talented and pretty. Usually those personal attacks are born out of jealousy. I am glad you handle that well now. Happy to hear that you don't think my stuffed cabbage is messy.

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  18. So far, no bad comments as yet (as far as I can remembered that is). But sometimes, you can see some rather nasty remarks made by people on some other blogs, especially when the issue at hand is a senstivie one.

    As for me, I have always tried to refrain from saying something nasty as much as I can, unless I am really really really irritated and you would not want to be around when that happened ...LOL

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  19. If you have nothing nice to say, better say nothing at all - 100% agreed with this statement. I have few chatting friends, sometime they like to tease and make joke on certain friend. It make the chatting atmosphere turn ice cube. I don't like it. They always said we talk here end here, don't put in heart. But it really hurt someone feeling.

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    1. Vicky, I think if teasing and joking without bad intention is okay but definitely not behind someone's back.

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  20. Kong thor moh wai sik thor wooi chai..(Canto) so sometimes silence is golden

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    1. Yes, silence is golden. Better than letting people say this person "say jeng ba how" LOL!

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  21. I received few nasty ones before.. as u said, lantak la! hahaha.. dont let them discourage us from doing what we love doing....

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  22. i admit sometimes i do say things that i shouldnt be saying..especially when i'm in a bad mood and later realised how harsh i was. i know that's wrong so i totally agree with you when we have nothing good to say, better dont say anything at all.Your cabbage is delicious looking, i dont think it's messy.

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  23. YUM! This stuffed cabbage looks perfect & tasty! Yes, I do believe that if we have nothing nice to say better don"t say anything. But sometimes beh tahan then it will , let say accidentally keluar! :p LOL

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  24. Forgiving & forgetting is the biggest gift to others and also for ourselves. Life would be better to stay that way, not letting us to hate. Yeah, I have to agree with you that sometimes we forgotten especially when we met nasty...I mean really nasty people. haha.... My friend called these people as 'xia li fei dao'. We can easily drop dead after kena one shot. haha....
    Kristy

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