Thursday, November 10, 2011

When a man grows older, his balls get smaller

When I was heading a Sales team for one of the Manufacturers in building material many years ago, we used to have long boring meetings every week. That is the part of my job that I disliked the most because there are times I had to struggle to stay awake, let alone stay focused. I remember at one of the tedious long hours monthly meetings, my General Manager noticed that all of us were very bored and sleepy, especially me. After a presentation made by the Factory Manager, my GM turned to me and asked, "Veron, do you know that when a man grows older, his balls get smaller?" Everyone in the meeting room were shocked by what he said. Ah ha! I can see you giggling! Don’t be dirty minded. What he meant was, when male are boys, they play football, basketball, soccer, rugby and other games that involved bigger balls but as they grow older, they usually play golf which is a very small ball by comparison. That immediately made everyone laughed out loud and awaken. I think my GM was very clever and I admired his sense of humor. For those who wants to know how to liven up boring meetings, here are some tips from an article I read sometime ago:


Quote:

1. Spill some coffee on the meeting table. Produce a little paper boat (that you have prepared earlier) and sail it down the table.

2. During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she considers to be important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm.

3. Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the real reason this meeting has been called.

4. Sneak some french fries into the meeting room. Every time someone beings to complain about something or bring up past problems or grudges, place a chip on your shoulder, literally, and roll your eyes obviously in front of your colleague.

5. Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone around the table. Sometimes shake your head a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it.

6. Bring in a laptop and vigorously pretend to transcribe the meeting. Tell people to speak slowly and one at a time during discussions. Type with two fingers.

7. Answer questions or speak to your co-worker in a different language. Keep a straight face and pretend not to understand when he/she replies in English.

8. Bring a small mountain of computer printouts to the meeting. If possible, include some old-fashioned fanfold paper for dramatic effect. Every time the speaker makes a point, pretend to check it in one of the printouts. Pretend to find substantiating evidence there. Nod vigorously, and say "uh-huh, uh-huh!"

9. Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points.

(If you're up for a real challenge, let the puppet be Sweep, the dog from "The Sooty Show" - his voice is a kazoo, so everything he says has to be repeated back to him as a question so other people can understand!)

10. When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, smile contentedly, and say, "Well, here's the way I see it, J.B..." (or any other impressive-sounding initials that are not actually your boss's.)

11. Take a buzz-word bingo card into the meeting. Everytime a typical phrase is used by the boss, such as "think outside the box", "client focussed" and "value added", cross it off the card. Yell "Bingo!" excitedly when you have crossed sufficient squares. Then sit down, blatantly take out a fresh card and look at the boss eagerly for him to continue while you have your pen poised in hand to cross of buzz words again. 

12. Complain loudly that your neighbour won't stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it.

13. Make everyone some name plates and put them in front of where they are sitting. When they are not looking, swap them around and ask them to change seats.

(A variation on this is to swap name tags around with your colleagues just after everyone has sat down. This is particularly effective to confuse a guest presenter. He won't know why everyone is smiling!)

14. Make some fake handouts without the boss knowing. Hand them around the room before, during or after the meeting. Make sure the content is completely irrelevant to the meeting being held.

15. Pretend to fall asleep. Snore once so everyone can hear, then wake up suddenly and blurt out an opinion angrily to the speaker rebutting what was just said with supporting evidence. Then close your eyes and lean back in your chair calmly.

16. Bang loudly on the table with your paperwork at a random point during the meeting just to make everyone jump. Pretend you got the fly.

17. Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming.

Try any of the above but please don't come look for me when you get fired! LOL! 


Few days ago my Quay Lo made some very delicious balls. They are the marshmallow popcorn balls.  These balls are nice sweet crunchy snacks and can be a great item to include for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Marshmallow Popcorn Balls
Adapted from Allrecipe.com




Ingredients:
3/4 cup light corn syrup
1/4 cup margarine
2 teaspoons cold water
2 5/8 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup mini marshmallows
5 quarts plain popped popcorn

Method:
In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the corn syrup, margarine, cold water, confectioners' sugar and marshmallows. Heat and stir until the mixture comes to a boil. Carefully combine the hot mixture with the popcorn, coating each kernel. Grease hands with vegetable shortening and quickly shape the coated popcorn into balls before it cools. Wrap with cellophane or plastic wrap and store at room temperature.

53 comments:

  1. I read your blog title and burst out laughing :D Yup , I'm one of those dirty-minded person hahahaha Very intersting post indeed :D & your Popcorn Balls looks good !

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  2. you made me laugh,, so funny.Love the popcornbalss too! I have never made them this way. I make them with the syrup recipe, no marsh,mallows, these are much prettier than the carmel corn ones.

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  3. Point 15 is very hilarious. The popcornballs are so cute and lovely.

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  4. Ai..ya.. I also another dirty minded... haha... when I see the title, I burst out laughing. Thanks for sharing.
    Nice popcorn balls.

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  5. A very attention getting title indeed! Haha! Anyone who actually claims they aren't thinking dirty must be the ones who have donated their brains to research. Either that or they're not from this part of the universe.
    Your Quay Lo's balls (I beg your pardon) ... popcorn balls, look great for a party for sure. Nicely done!

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  6. Quay Po, I'm still lol at the title of your post and the points you made in it. Nothing like the unexpected to wake us up! Thank you for a most unusual, entertaining read -- sales meeting will never be the same... :)

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  7. You are too funny! I'll bring your list along to my next meeting, though I don't think I have the nerve to try any of the tips. By the way, the popcorn balls look delicious; definitely want to try those!

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  8. Good try like your disclaimer when get fired not your responsibility. Probably for the next meeting your GM would say all personnel are involved except Quay Po. You didn't add in Point 16 with splashing Popcorn all over the conference table? haha.

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  9. ha! ha! ha! I will send this to my husband and see if he's "ballsy" enough to try any of these! Too bad I'm a stay-at-home mom. If I spilled the coffee on my conference table, I will be the one mopping it up! Beautiful popcorn balls. I might have to try them with my kids during the holidays!

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  10. I'm still laughing, especially like the 2 finger typist. So funny!

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  11. enjoyed reading your articles, hehe...i'm the one easily lost focus when the meeting taken super long hours...
    very cute "balls" your have made...haha

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  12. Thank you for this great article. I'd enjoyed reading it. And back to this Marshmallow Popcorn Balls.....I am going to make this for my niece. She is going to loves it lots and lots!!

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  13. Good laugh:)
    I read on another blog soemone wrote about thsi boring meetings.He said he and couple of collegues invented a dog which ahd a name Brother and every time somebody really got bored or offensive they would nod with the head and "Brother" went in action:)

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  14. LOL!!! I've heard the joke before...but when I saw your blog title I was thinking of something else. Guess that doesn't surprise you one bit, eh? Hehehehehe!!!! Hmmm...you should have seen this old man I met once - his balls were huge - could see under his towel-like wrap...swinging like a pendulum between his knees! Muahahahahaha!!! (But that's some kind of medical problem, I think... Touch wood!)

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  15. LOL. If I do that, sure I kena shoo out or kena "stew mushroom"
    Love that bouquet of balls :)

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  16. hello...i'm coming:)
    this marshmallow Popcorn Balls, very special, look like lolipop , more easy to eat ....

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  17. Veronica...I was...arr..no not dirty minded but a little along the line as " really meh " hahaha thinking you are teaching some biology facts LOL! I was sleepy but you managed to wake me up . Now I am fully alert and shall share this with my old man :p

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  18. Lol !! I do enjoy reading your blog.. every nice joke it's really refreshing our mind especially when we are so bored :))
    and that marshmallow ball indeed "seriously" something to grab! :)

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  19. ohh....how true your ex-boss said. haha.... The popcorn ball looks so delicious. My kids will sure love them.

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  20. Your list made me laughed and laughed non stop! I'm starting to imagine if I were to do that, people will think I'm cuckoo. LOL. I'm a big fan of popcorn. The pic looked so inviting!

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  21. Hey.. that is a good one... it is true though, eh... the smaller the balls, the more expensive game it is..
    Scrolling through the comments, I notice many were on the balls joke! hahaha..

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  22. I am sooo glad I've never worked in a place with long pointless meetings.

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  23. Great way to start my day! With a smile from you! My husband just happened to be passsing by while I was reading and peeked in and said, "What the H are you reading!"

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  24. some of these are really hilarious, I really have to bookmark them...:D.

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  25. Strange title for a culinary blog. :-)

    Greetings,
    Filip

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  26. Very cheeky title, Quay Po hahaha And oh gosh, those tips are outrageous, I don't think I have the "balls" to do any of that lol. It was a fun read though, thanks!
    And that's a delightful popcorn recipe, I'd give this a try when the family gets together ;)

    Cheers,

    Wi
    A Single Girl's Musings

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  27. The post title had me in stitches. Cute balls!!!

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  28. Good one! Hahaha! I was like... 'hmm... Quay Po Cooks really is a very versatile and funny blog that teaches almost anything'! ;P
    I like those popcorn balls and they make great party snacks! ;)

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  29. I'd be the same giggling person in the room. Mature, I know!

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  30. LOL...can't help it with such a title. & I'm still laughing! BTW luv your cute popcorn balls. Lovely ^^

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  31. LOL! I'll try out the tips when I feel like retiring early. Like #6, can really make ppl frustrated, kekeke!!

    Your bouquet of popcorns looks delicious~

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  32. Hahhah...that's a very true saying. Seems that you are starting to prepare for Thanksgiving day edy.

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  33. I'm laughing when I read your post, the ist for sure is for someone really boring to stay in the job and looking for the boss to fire him/her :DDD

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  34. Noteworthy entries. Marshmallow Popcorn Balls are very desirable.

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  35. U got me, Veron! I came straight as soon as I saw your title. Hahaha! These popcorn balls are so unique. They make good snacks for party. Love it!

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  36. @anne
    I am glad the title made you laugh, laughing is good:D

    @laurie
    After you try this way, please let me know the verdict.

    @Sheoh Yan
    hahaha, I like that one too.

    @Amelia
    I guest anyone hears that will sure laugh whether they think dirty or not, unless there is not a drop of humor in their blood.

    @ping
    I am with, well said. My Quay Lo appreciate that you like his balls (I mean his popcorn balls). LOL!

    @alittlelunch
    Thanks but I did not made those points, they are from an article I read. Yes if only the bosses will not be offended by any of the points above, then everybody will be looking forward to meetings.

    @OohLookBel
    I think it is quite safe to try No.17.

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  37. @Bananaz
    hahaha, I am glad I do not need to attend anymore of those long boring meetings. You mean at point No.18 is it?

    @FamilySpice
    Oh yes, nowadays, I try to be very careful too, not spill any liquid on the table or floor because then I will have to clean up the mess. Unfortunately the more careful I am, the more clumsy I get.

    @1-2Punch
    Oh nowadays there many two finger typists around including my Quay Lo.

    @Sherleen.T
    Good to hear you enjoy readiing my posts. Thanks for the compliment on the balls but they my Quay Lo's not mine. LOL!

    @Mel
    You are always welcome Mel. I am sure your niece will love those balls.

    @Dzoli
    hahaha, I would to be there to see "Brother" in action.

    @suituapui
    Poor old man, he must be dragging along with those extra weight.

    @Wendy
    That is why I have to "stew my own mushroom" and became a "one leg kick" in my own small company lor.

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  38. @Joelyn
    Ooo, you are? hehehe

    @Elin
    I hope your old man will not stop you from coming to my blog. He might say I corrupt his wife.

    @My Home Diary in Turkey
    Thanks for enjoying my blog. I love to hear that from my friends and readers, who doesn't right?

    @mNhL
    Yes my ex boss is a wise man, he always got something witty to say.

    @Carolyn
    hahaha, you should try one of the tips sometime and see what happens. Dare to be different not cuckoo.

    @renaclaire
    Yes it is anything small is more expensive. No wonder my Quay Lo say I am high maintenance! hehehehe

    @That Girl
    You lucky girl!

    @Rosemary
    Indeed! your husband asked the right question, he might think you are reading a porn site! LOL!

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  39. @loverspot
    Thanks.

    @Shirley
    Do you have to attend long boring meetings?

    @yummychunklet
    I am afraid it is.

    @Small Kucing
    Under 18 cannot read this post! hehehe

    @Filip
    hahaha… I thought it was appropriate since I am writing a recipe on balls.

    @Wi
    You don't ha? When you grow older, you will be.

    @simpy.food
    Glad to know it did that to you.

    @Lyn
    Thanks you. Hope it is not a blog of "Jack of of trades, master of none."

    @Nobe4Lit
    Only mature people will giggle. I know you are! LOL!

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  40. @i-lostinausten
    Laughing is good for health. Laugh more.

    @yvonne
    Yes, try it when you think you no longer ant to stay in a Company. Make a great impression before exit. hehe

    @Yee Ling
    Yes we are:D

    @Ah Tze
    Like I just said to Yvonne, it can be quite fun to try on of the tips above when you know you want to leave the company. Have a grand exit by shocking everyone. LOL!

    @Foodafok
    I am glad you find it noteworthy:D

    @Shirley
    My dear, I know you would, you one one person I know who are witty and enjoys humor. That's why I like you! HUGS.

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  41. hahahha...I was laughing so much:))) you are funny, and if I didn't read the whole think I would think it was really dirty minded:))

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  42. I was wondering where you were going with this. You also make us feel lucky if we don't have to sit through long boring meetings. I would do well with the facial communication though...hehehe!

    You have some lovely balls there...marshmallow popcorn balls that is!

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  43. I am still laughing as I type this... what an hilarious post. Your title sure got my attention!! And I really like your big balls. Oops, I mean your popcorn balls.

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  44. LOL! those are really hilarious tips to live up a meeting...but after that, dont know whether got chance to step into the meeting room or not..ha!

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  45. @Sandra
    I know, that was what I thought to when my ex boss asked me that question. I was thinking he must be a dirty old man. hehehe

    @Lyndsey
    Yes, you are very lucky. Those boring meetings makes me want to kill myself!

    @Trix
    Sorry, those are my Quay Lo's big balls, not mine. I mean popcorn balls. LOL!

    @Lena
    No, you don't want to go into a meeting room ever, after that!! hahaha

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  46. "Try any of the above but please don't come look for me when you get fired!"

    LOL, if I pulled that kind of stuff at school, I'd get in so much trouble.

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  47. @kyleen
    hahaha, if you do, please don't tell your parents you got those ideas from Quay Po Cooks.!!

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  48. Omg, that was hilarious! I lol-ed at each one of them. Thanks for the morning laughs! I could so picture myself trying some of these during a teacher meeting. Lol. Makes me want to go back to work sooner now. Hahaha.

    I think this is the only appropriate time to ever say this, but those balls look delicious! Teehee. Another great post and sweet recipe, Quay Po!

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  49. Hi Quaypo!
    I am your new fan and follower. All your posts got me giggling!! And all your recipes got me drooling! :)

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  50. @LeQuan
    Can you imagine I missed your comment and reply after two weeks? Shame on me!! Anyway, I really appreciate you reading most of my posts and your comments has never failed to put a smile on my face. Hugs.

    @Catheryn
    Many thanks for following my blog and I am so happy to know you enjoy reading my posts and like my recipes:D We gave plenty to share so see you around often. Hugs.

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