Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Spare the rod and spoil the child


I suspect that my mum still believes in this notion of “Spare the rod and spoil the child”. Oh, maybe she has mellowed a bit since my youngster years, but that was how I was brought up. Oh yes, there was a cane in her house when I was little. There was a cane in my house too when my son, Nick was little. Is there one in your house?

Many modern parents have a different view. A few days ago, I was at a “mamak” restaurant with my Quay Lo. There was this young mom with two handsome little boys, one age 4 or 5 and the younger one maybe two sitting just a few tables away from us.. Her little boys were so active and could not sit still. They were running around in the restaurant and making a lot of noise but their mom did not pay any attention to them. She kept on enjoying her food.  I marveled at her tolerance and patience with her boys. That reminded me of my childhood days when kids were expected to be "seen not heard". I cannot remember how many times, I got caned by my mum. Oops did I just reveal that I was a naughty little girl? LOL!

I remember when my son, Nick was little like the two little boys. I was more relaxed with him compared to my mum, but I was certainly not as easy going as their mom. There was no way that I could have kept calm and serene, and continue to enjoy my food, if Nick were to run around the restaurant making noise and banging chairs. When he went out for a meal with us, he knew he had to sit still and I think I was fortunate that he was a reasonable child and seemed quite happy just to be there with us.
During my childhood days, I also didn’t see parents making a large birthday celebration for their kids. Every year on my birthday, my mum would cook two hard boiled eggs and stain them with red dye to present to me. That was my birthday gift and celebration. I really wasn't aware that I was missing anything. In fact she does this for my Quay Lo for his birthday every year, and he is charmed by the practice.

I don’t remember there was even a birthday cake until much later in my life when my sister's parents throw a party for me when I was in my teens. Of course, now many parents plan big parties for their kids’ birthdays and my niece’s sister in law recently threw a big party for her one year old daughter. That was great because I got the opportunity to get in on the fun in a way.

My mum asked me if I would like to make a birthday cake and cup cakes for her. I was happy to, because the family are old friends of ours. I was unable to attend the party but I was told that not only the little kids loved the cupcakes that I baked, but the adults did too. One of her guests asked if she can place an order with me. LOL!

Here, they are and if you would like to bake these moist banana chocolate cupcakes, click on the pictures to get the recipe.


Here another way you may decorate the cupcakes for adults. I baked these for one of my readers, Kimmie when we met up. We had a nice lunch and a long chat.  She gave me a bottle of lovely Australian wine and I really enjoyed it.


As I am not very good at baking a huge single birthday cake, I baked a small one for the birthday girl. I used the same recipe but with chocolate ganache frosting instead of chocolate butter cream frosting.



48 comments:

  1. Yes, child raising is different today. Mine was more like yours. But look at those good young people!
    And those cup cakes! Glad I stopped by today.


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    1. Hi Cloudia, it is always good to see you again. Thanks for stopping by.

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  2. Oooo...lovely cupcakes!!!

    Ya...we grew up on the cane, no questions asked, no explanation whatsoever...and we certainly were a deprived lot but times have changed. Can't say it was better during our time...nor can I say it is better now. It's a knife that cuts both ways. Parenting these days, will have to play by ear - and do what is necessary...as and when necessary.

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    1. I agree with Arthur's comment on parenting but still I have a few canes at home and they are not just for show. I use them when they really cross the line.

      ... Oh.. I agree with Arthur on the cupcakes too! :)

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    2. Thanks Arthur for the compliment on my cupcakes. This one you have not tried before. Wait for you to visit next time and I will bake you some. As regards to parenting, I think there is no right way. Most parents will use the best way they know to bring up their children.

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    3. Chef and Sommelier, I trust the that your cane is not for show, so was mine. LOL!

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  3. Oh, I'm the 3rd today! My mum didn't use cane but a hanger which gives you the same instant bruise effect, haha! I remember there was 1 time after being beaten by mum, I sat down & counted with my best friend. Caning is considered as child abuse in Australia so if I really can't stand, I have to curi-curi using ruler to do it but again, this is not allowed here, ai. It's hard not to beat a little when they go beyond my tolerance but anywhere, I'm also learning to control my composure. Lovely cakes, have been seeing friends baking the banana chocolate cake.

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    1. Hearing of your mum using hanger, reminds me of my Grandma, she too use hangers and belts. Aiyoh, the thought of it makes me feel the pain lah. If she was living i the Quay Lo country, probably she would thing twice before doing that. hehe

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  4. I was never spared the rod when I was younger! Maybe that's why THAT generation is relatively less of a spoil child than THIS generation - at least that is what I have observed around me. True?

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  5. Kids these days are 'naughtier' than last time, have to use the hard way already.

    And the cupcakes are so lovely!

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    1. Hayley, absolutely:D Thanks for the compliment on the cupcakes.

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  6. so true... I grew up with a bowl of mee sua and egg for my birthdays.... it is still very precious with me... and yes, I was very scared of the cane too! my little one doesnt now... sigh...when when we punished him with cane when he does something really wrong, he wont cry and just stare at us...kids are really different these days....

    on the other note, love the adorable cupcakes! you are always so sweet and caring to others.. :)

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    1. Really? You are too young to grew up with mee sua and egg for birthdays. Looks like your mum really keep up the tradition. Good for you! You kiddy seems to be a tough one, he does not cry when you caned him? Must be very soft one lor! LOL! Thanks my dear for your kind words about me:D

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  7. Not too sure but I do cane my girls when they try to step on my head..In case you don't know, I am MOMSTER at home. But if we are out, I try to give them face but once at home, I would not spare the rod.ahhahahaha

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    1. "Step on my head" sounded so familiar. My mum used to say that to me when I was little, "Don't step on my heard or else, I will cane you." hahaha I am glad you will not spare the rod so your kiddies for sure will be not spoilt brats!

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  8. I think the old way, with some modifications, is still the best. Discipline is very important. Look at kids these days, many are spoilt and not taught proper acceptable behaviour. By the way Quay Po, your cupcakes are really cute and adorable. And I love the birthday cake too :)

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    1. Phong Hong, agree with you 100% that discipline is crucial. I am happy to kow you like my cupcakes and the birthday cakes. Let me know when you want to meet up and I will bake some for you to taste.

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  9. These are lovely cakes that you baked. I bet you must be very popular aunt. I love the picture in which your hubby grinned from ear to ear with the birthday eggs.

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    1. Oh yes! I love that pic of my Quay Lo too:D I would love to be a popular aunty:D

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  10. Bananaz can't remember if there is such a word as cane at home. So far so good never tasted any at all. Whoa lovely yummy cupcakes

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    1. Bananaz, you were a very good boy so how about now? hahaha

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  11. No cane in my house too, my hubby & I will try to reason it out with my kiddos, make them understanding what they did wrong & learn from their mistakes. Your birthday cake looked so wonderfully decorated, wish I could do that too :)

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    1. Good for you my dear:D Thanks for the compliment on the birthday cake. It is actually very easy to do those deco. I am sure you can do it.

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  12. No cane in my house but I think I broke a couple of wooden spoons and a hairbrush. We always went out to chinese restaurants when my children were very young they loved the experience - it was a treat and were always well behaved. I can't stand badly behaved children and I don't want to put up with them when I am paying a good price for my dinner. Maybe harsh but true.

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    1. That is exactly how my Quay Lo and I felt when parents allowed their kids to disturb the peace of others in restaurants. I don't you sound harsh at all.

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  13. I believe in discipline from young and should start from the family. I used to have a cane at home, but not anymore.

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    1. True, discipline should start from home. It is the responsible of parents.

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  14. What a lovely birthday cake!
    Simple yet pretty :)

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  15. There was a stick in my house, but as for my nieces. Nothing of the kind!

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    1. I am sure your nieces are well behave kids so you don't even need a stick.

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  16. Young people nowadays are a different breed :D 'nuff said ! Anyway , that cake and cupcakes look yummy ! Love the chocolate frosting .

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    1. Thanks Anne. Appreciate the compliment.

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  17. My sister and I were regularly caned (I got significantly more though, I think I'm just a bad girl lol) but my younger brother didn't get any caning (9 years younger), maybe that's why I'm the one with the medical degree and him dropping out from high school...... Coincidence? Regardless, I think discipline is so important. Can't stand those parents who just let their kids run free and scream in public places.

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    1. hahaha, you were a naughty girl ha? Usually intelligent kids are more naughty. I am not sure if you brother's dropout from high school is coincidence but probably your parents give him more slacks because he is the youngest child. Yes discipline is very important if we want our kids to grow up into well behave adults.

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  18. Oh you remind me my childhood, I was brought up by my parents and with the helps of cane too! I like to fight with my brothers so all of us always makan rotan, how naughty am I.
    The cakes look really good, I haven't attempted any cupcake or cake with decoration, need to put it into my new year resolution list

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    1. hahaha Stephanie, I like you said "makan" rotan because that is what I used to say to my friends when I have cane marks on my legs. It is not hard to decorate cupcakes. Exercise your creative juice.

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  19. Times have changed! Kids nowadays are so naughty and never respect adults.
    It makes me kinda afraid of having children seriously :/

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    1. Charmaine, no lah, not all kids are naughty and don't respect adults. It all depends on their upbringing.

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  20. Quay Po, I just spent a delightful session browsing your blog at long last... your girls' day out post (fun!), Quay Lo's history of Poppycock post(sea salt - brilliant - yum!), and enjoying your beautiful photography and "from-the-heart" musings. Loved your last post of 2012, too -- Happy New Year to you, too!

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    1. Thanks for browsing my blog and enjoy my posts. Makes my day to hear that. Have a great year ahead.

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  21. I used to have a cane but the boys are smart enough to hide it, so I don't bother with one, just use the belt, very effective too lol! I baked a banana cake lastnight using leftover bananas, should visit here earlier then can try your recipe....sigh! Now have to wait for another round of rotting bananas haha!

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    1. Your boys are smart to hide the cane from you but then they forgot you can always use something else. LOL! No worries, you can always try this recipe another time.

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  22. These cup cakes are indeed beautiful and nice for Kid's birthday party. I have canes everywhere in my house. I am an evil queen mum. I try, I try to spare the rod and love them more.

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    1. hahaha The evil queen mum? You look too gentle and beautiful to be one.

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  23. Love the way you decorated the Birthday cake!

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